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Snow Sports

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Q: Snow? And me? Don’t you know I’m Vice Chair of the Residents Committee?
A:We are delighted for you. Yes! Snow! Or it’s synthetic equivalent.
Q: But what snowy wonders can you reveal to me?
A: There is a mish-mash and a plethora. Classic crackers such as skiing and snowboarding. More refined areas of expertise like lugeing and snow tubing. Then the utter madness of Snow Sphereing.
Q: Oh yes that one. How does that work?
A: Much like regular Sphereing. You slither inside a big plastic ball, then head down an incredibly long inside ski slope, hitting speeds of 30MPH. There ain’t nothing like it and no how.
Q: And this will be indoors?
A: Yep. All our snowy fun is indoors at some of the finest facilities this great nation of our can offer. We can control the environment and you’re never waiting for fine powder to fall from the sky and coat the slopes. We’ve got a machine that does it. It’s safer and easier to teach in these locations.
Q: Riddle me this. Say I plumb for the skiing one. Do I need to be at Olympic standard, or someone who has never even seen snow?
A: No experience is necessary; all the basics will be shown to you by our highly trained, highly tuned skiing experts. Whether you want to have a bit of a go for the first time or brush up on existing skills, it’s pretty great either way.
Q: What if I get out of breath by opening a packet of McCoys?
A: You do need a modicum of physical fitness to take part in most of our snow bound activities. If you are not sure, just ask us or the supplier.
Q: Would it be advisable to fashion my own skis from a couple of fencing panels that I whittle down?
A: No please. The experiences include boots and ski/snowboard hire or anything else you may need equipment wise. You should bring along gloves, full-length trousers and a long sleeved top as these must be worn by everyone taking part in snow activity. But check the details on your particular experience, as this may vary from place to place.
Q: And the miniature versions of me that live in my house?
A: The minimum age for most of our snow sports palaver is usually quite low (6 for skiing, 8 for snowboarding at some places) but we also have activities aimed at children and their delightful, impish skill set. Like our one hour junior ski lesson for under 16s.

Fun Facts

  • 1. Figure skating was originally a sport for men only, until Madge Syers took part and medalled in the 1902 World Championships. Officials then barred women from entering, but by 1905 they had their own competition. And it also made the mixed ice dancing a bit easier.
  • 2. Olympic downhill skiers can achieve speeds of an amazing 80MPH. On their skis I mean, not on motorbikes or anything, that wouldn’t be impressive.
  • 3. Organisers of the 1916 Olympic Games in Berlin planned to introduce a ‘Skiing Olympia’ featuring Nordic events held in the Black Forest, but the whole event was cancelled due to the war. It became known as the ‘Almost Winter Olympics That Never Was’ by absolutely no-one. Except me.
  • 4. The earliest ice skating happened in Finland more than 3000 years ago. Originally, skates were merely sharpened, flattened bone strapped to the bottom of the foot. Though, of course, you had to hand in your own shoes before you were given your bones.
  • 5. Ski jumping as a sport originated in Norway. Olaf Rye was the first known ski jumper who, in 1809, launched himself 9.5 metres into the air in front of an audience of soldiers. You see, it’s not really the ski jumping that worries me, it’s more the ski landing.
  • 6. The term skiing term mogul is probably of German origin, deriving from ‘mugl’, meaning ‘small hill’. Though I don’t think it’s also the origin of ‘mug’, although if you did invert a small hill you could probably drink tea out of it.
  • 7. Perhaps the most famous Curlers in history are The Beatles, who took part in the sport as part of their film Help! In fact Ringo did consider leaving the group to head out onto the international Curling circuit. Or he does in my Beatles fan fiction available on my blog.
  • 8. The terrible 1990 comedy Ski Patrol is notable for featuring an early appearance by Paul Feig who went on to direct the comedy blockbuster Bridesmaids. Though I imagine he doesn’t like to be reminded of that fact. Sorry Paul.
  • 9. Bernie Geoffrion is credited with bringing the slapshot to professional ice hockey in 1951. He was given the nickname “Boom Boom” because his shot was so hard. And not because of his great Basil Brush impression.
  • 10. The World Record for Luge is held by Tony Benshoof of the United States who achieved a speed of 86.93MPH. That is too fast! He is a Lugeatic!