Monthly Archives: March 2012

A Once in a Lifetime Downing Street Deal…

Posted by & filed under News.

We’re offering big, big savings with this once-in-a-lifetime Downing Street deal!  Shuffling into the voting booth at some inner-city Primary School causing flashbacks to the time you wet yourself in while dressed as a shepherd is an utterly depressing experience. Surely there has got to be a better way? There is! Cash! Sidestep all that ridiculous talking, petitioning and offering a lucid argument nonsense that completely clogs up our democratic process. Cut out the red tape through the use of white hot dosh. In this very exclusive, limited time offer, for a small *cough* “donation” of – let’s say £250,000 – you can actually get inside 10 Downing Street, and next door to Number 11 for slightly less. ‘That’s too much’ I hear you cry into your Quavers. Don’t worry, packages for all cheapskates are available: £10,000 – The ‘Regional Mayor’ A Polaroid of you and your pleading face will be slipped under the door of a random government official including a four word message stating your case. £50,000 – The ‘Middling CEO’ A junior minister will sit next to you at the event of your choice (rugby match, pantomime, peep show) for a period of eight minutes, nodding sagely…

Introducing “Zombie Shopping Mall”…

Posted by & filed under Celebrities, News.

Update: Zombie Shopping Mall is now sold out. Sorry! 🙁 Once it was the job of the nation’s elderly to shuffle around shopping centres, smelling a bit odd and having bits drop off them. But there’s a new menace that’s littering the mall. Wombles. Sorry, misread that… we mean ZOMBIES! In our mind-blowingly scary new experience – Zombie Shopping Mall – you’ll be dropped into a spooky abandoned shopping centre in Reading. There you will go from floor to floor, battling zombies who have infiltrated the site (don’t mix the zombies up with the lifeless, indolent types who work in nearby Top Shop.). What’ll I Be Up Against? You and your team will receive full training from the assigned police unit, advising you the best way to dispatch your scabby enemies. Then you’ll tackle these groaning deadbeats face to face, in a movie-like experience, unfolding in real time, where your decision affect the outcome. After this, you and your comrades face these shuffling beasts alone, in what is known as a ‘run and gun’ experience. You’ll need nerves of steel, a will of iron and brains of titanium to successfully fend off this legion of gentlemen and ladies who used to be…

Zombie Shopping Mall in the New York Post

Posted by & filed under Media, News.

  Yay, our wondersome Zombies have conquered the Big Apple! As you can see from the cutting above the estimable New York Post (which we are going to assume is the American equivalent of The Times) got quite excited by the thought of our Zombie Shopping Mall. Well, those Yankee Doodles do love malls and malt shops and drive-ins – if the movies are to be believed.  

Zombie Boot Camp on Fox News

Posted by & filed under Media, News, Uncategorized.

American broadcaster Fox News usually dedicates their resources into things such as questioning the human heritage of their President and liking Sarah Palin. But it turns out that they also love our Zombie Boot Camp. Despite the fact that they felt it ‘wasn’t for them’, ‘gross’ and ‘I don’t want any part of it’ we could tell that behind the fear they were dying to head to Droitwich and embark on some zombie bashing. Take that liberal media! And if that has given you the urge to bash some zombies, get some more info HERE.

Zombie Boot Camp in the Guardian Guide

Posted by & filed under Media.

  Love for our Zombies turns up all over the place (quite right too, as they are ace). Here’s the handsome and exceptional Ciarán Norris from Stillorgan, Co Dublin, extolling the virtues of our very own Zombie Boot Camp on the pages of the Guardian Guide. He points out its use should there be a Zombie apocalypse and manages to get a sly political dig in there (well it is the Guardian). Read the whole thing RIGHT HERE And if you fancy a bit of that yourself, then we urge you to head OVER HERE.