Posts By: Dale

Till Death Do Us Part…

Posted by & filed under News, Uncategorized.

It was a nice day for a fright wedding, as Billy Idol almost, nearly sang. Just for a change of pace, the streets of central London witnessed a phalanx of sickly, groaning, near-human figures, as bride and groom horror aficionados Jennifer Jones and Rob Blackmore from Stockport tied the knot in full zombie regalia. After beating out a slew of other prospective living dead couples, they won a competition from the makers of video game Dead Island Riptide to throw the biggest matrimonial monster bash the capital has ever seen. Just watch this wedding video and see if it doesn’t have the tears rolling down your grotesque, scab-addled faces. Bride, groom, priest and 250 members of the congregation were all zombiefied – eventually resembling some hideous knees-up in a post-nuclear apocalyptic nether world. There was further trouble at the reception where no one could tell where the party’s running sores stopped and the running buffet started. But we wish all the luck in the world to these ghoulie-weds and let’s hope we’ll soon here the shuffle of little zombie feet.

10 Things You Can Only Do In A Rental Car

Posted by & filed under How To....

Just not *our* rental cars, we hasten to add… Renting a hire car is practically a licence to print money. But what can you do with all that money and the car you just hired? Lots of stuff! Just like when you rent a human being, there’s a whole new world on offer. Check out these hot, hot, hot things to do in a rental car style ideas. Jackrabbit Starts Sure you don’t want to bunny-hop start your own car, but you’re in a rental stupid and anything goes, including this hideously fuel-wasteful way to get going. All you have to do is release the clutch pedal as you’re applying the gas. Tyres spinning like a DJ with severe mental health problems and approving looks from low-lifes are guaranteed. Starskey And Hutch Bonnet Slides See also ‘The Professionals’. There is only one cool and convincing way to travel from the front door of your bed-sit to somewhere near the front door of your vehicle. Pick up speed then slide across the bonnet with arms aloft and your face pressed into an expression of criminal crotch-kicking determination. Nascar Doughnuts Though NASCAR has adopted this tyre-screeching, skidmark application as a form of…

Dare To Win With Dr Pepper?

Posted by & filed under Competitions.

What’s the worst that could happen? I can think of a few things, mostly involving hair and Marmite. But that’s really between me and my therapist. But we want to give you, via the wonderful, tasty, delicious folks at Dr Pepper, the chance to win the experience of your dreams. Or, if it’s something that fills you with malignant dread, the stuff of nightmares. Confused? You shouldn’t be. Basically head over to the Dr Pepper Facebook page, tell them how much you love Dr Pepper and several exciting things you can think of to do with their beverage, then you’ll be entered into a grand prize draw. There you have the chance to win a delightful, sedate, warmly comfortable year long membership to English Heritage for two. Enjoy a plethora of stately homes, engaging castles and frothy formal gardens. OR You could win an exhilarating day indoor skydiving for you and a companion. You’ll be blown to ecstasy as you swoop and glide on a huge wind-generating device, replicating all the excitement of skydiving without having to go really high up. You could also win tickets to our Zombie Manor House or even our Segway Rally experience! But which will you get? You just don’t…

The Wonderful World of Twitter #JournoRequest

Posted by & filed under Media.

Twitter can be used for many wondrous things: veiled threats, overt threats, passive-aggressive threats… But it also an excellent tool for those looking for journalists’ and the like, who try to find unsuspecting rubes to illustrate their article on ‘Why I Smell and I’m Proud Of It’ on the social media network using the #journorequest hashtag. But amongst the desperate, deadline-compromising pleas are some excellent spoofs, pastiches and giggleblips, as well as legitimate ones that are too abstract to be believed. The excitable @Brainmage hurts all of our minds with this superb combination of astro-surrealism and the magically mundane: Can anyone help find an early 20th Century Bellhop who travelled through time in order to battle intergalactic mindviruses? #journorequest — Guy (@Brainmage) March 6, 2013 Some tell a baffling little story all on their own: #journorequest If said Spam Javelin broke in 2 mid-flight, all the better. After reaction, thoughts, feelings etcs… It’s for a thing — Morgan Colohan (@Morgans_Plinth) March 6, 2013 A few have a vague air of truth about them. I’m sure I saw this show on Channel 4. It was part of the ‘Body Gosh’ series: #journorequest Looking for people who collect Goblin vacuum cleaners for…

Watch our Wacky Racers Experience!

Posted by & filed under Media, Video.

Look, you know we’re wacky right? Isn’t it obvious? Check out these trousers – just look at them. Look at their size and colour and those braces. Wacky. But did you know we even race wacky? To prove it we visited our Wacky Racing experience and filmed it in a way that only a wacky person can… Has all that wackiness whetted your appetite for some Wacky Racing of your own. That delights us like a pelican with a halibut. Book you own experience RIGHT HERE.

9 Crazy Facts About the Mile High Club

Posted by & filed under How To....

Back in the day, people enjoyed romantic encounters on aircraft willy-nilly. Politicians, celebrities, pop stars – you name it, they were at it! Well, we’re recreating those heady days before those Brussel-crats in Strasbourg went health and safety crazy and practically. Wish.co.uk is launching our own luxury Mile High Club! We have a plane with a discreet, non-judgemental pilot attached and a fully stocked boudoir that contains everything you need to consort in the air. Sheets! Pillows! Booze! A laminated safety information booklet! All will be yours to handle erotically. You’ll get around a hour to commit whatever acts you have dreamed up, miles above the glorious British countryside. What more stimulation could a person possibly need? We promise, this is all true and above board – really, really high above board. Set your love doors to cross check and get rude at altitude with our remarkable Mile High Club. All the details are right here… But what else should you know about the Mile High Club? Read on to find out… The 9 Crazy Facts*… * Read: “made up facts”… #1. The Mile High Club was conceived accidently when a consignment of the aftershave Blue Stratos became dislodged and spilled…

How Much is The Zombie Economy Worth? [Infographic]

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

You may think they’re just flabby lumps of reanimated flesh, groaning indiscriminately and frightening villagers. But zombies are also supreme cash generators. Their constant regurgitation in popular culture and wondrous things – like Wish.co.uk’s various zombie experiences – has sent the undead economy booming. In fact, the zombie economy has been worth an astonishing $5.74 billion to the global economy over the past 4 years. They’re all calling it (and by “they”, we mean “us”) the Putrid Pound. And and as more films, books, TV shows and fabulous zombie related experiences are created, the stronger it will become. In fact, according to experts, by 2022 we’ll all be involved in a zombie related industry in one way or another. OK, we made that last fact up…

We Gots the Book Smarts!

Posted by & filed under Competitions, Media.

  Just because you’ve never seen us with a book and that one time we did pick up a book we opened it the wrong way before bursting into tears and hurling it across the room, doesn’t mean we don’t like books. We love books, especially the lovely, wonderful people at Orion Books who were sweet enough to give readers of Erica James‘ bestseller The Hidden Cottage (spoiler alert: they find the cottage) a chance to win one of our amazing Dove Spa Bliss Packages. But it’s not just small holding based fiction that we’re all about. To celebrate the release of Robert Wilson’s crime drama Capital Punishment, we offered subscribers of Orion’s newsletter the opportunity to win a theatre break in London including a meal! With two courses! But it ain’t just book learning types who can enjoy these marvellous experiences. Book your own Dove Spa Sheer Bliss Package RIGHT HERE or a marvellous theatre break UP IN HERE.

‘How to’ TOWIE with Wish.co.uk

Posted by & filed under Uncategorized.

Wowie Zowie, it’s that TV show about Essex! To celebrate the amazing appearance of the brave The Only Way is Essex boys and girls at our Zombie Battle London experience, we’ve all gone a bit TOWIE crazy. We’re slightly more tanned, there are many more vowels crammed into very word we utter and we’ve had practically every body part jazzled. How did we achieve this incredible transformation which is making heads turn and laughter stifled on every street we choose to strut up and down? As a Christmas treat to all of you, we’ve constructed this fabulous Towie-To gift guide, so you can put the ‘sex’ into ‘that reality television programme entitled The Only Way is Essex’.   Gold Dice with Diamonds Bling Car Cigarette Lighter It’s like Vajazzling your car! Never again will you have to ignite your lovely lady (or gentleman’s) fag with a scabby old lighter that you’ve previously used to scratch, probe and agitate various parts of your body. This beautiful piece of motorised art has actually caused several multiple car pile-ups due to its dazzling hue and all around gorge-ness. Buy this beauty here   TOWIE Bed Set Now you can sleep with your favourite…

The Mayan Money Back Guarantee

Posted by & filed under News.

The weather’s iffy, the economy continues to tank and Paul McCartney is fronting Nirvana… It can only mean one thing: the Mayans were right! It’s the end of the world. Pesky pre-Colombians predicted that armageddon would occur on or around 21 December 2012, with cataclysmic nasties befalling us due to a number of astrological phenomena and foil-hat type notions. So you’re probably thinking, in the event of total global annihilation, how are my consumer rights affected? Good question. Post-apocalyptic receipts will be singed and torn, while the BBC’s Watchdog may not be airing at all. Worry not, Wish.co.uk customers – we’ve proud to announce the world’s first Mayan Money Back Guarantee. If the Mesoamerican predictions prove accurate and we’re all doomed to fiery, rubble-based annihilation, your wonderful Wish.co.uk experience day won’t be affected. If you can prove that your world has ended (camera phone footage will do), we’ll provide you with a full refund. Simply contact the survivors at Wish.co.uk using any rudimentary communication devices, and we’ll refund you in the appropriate new Earth currency. Ask the elders of your new mutant community for help if your hands have turned into something less practical. The end of the world doesn’t have…