Posts By: Dale

How To Avoid Any Socially Awkward Situation

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Whether it’s a wedding with a hidden agenda, a christening that goes too far or simply a party-based conversation that is making you consider a trip to the Dignitas clinic, we all find ourselves in awkward social situations with alarming frequency. And unless you’re an Estate Agent, you don’t want to just use rudeness to extract yourself from the arena of woe. So how can you get out of there without any lasting damage to your standing in the community? Here are a few tips, tricks and techniques… personalised 8 plus iphone case silicone START CRYING The water that leaps from your face can be the fuel for your escape in practically every terrible scenario. charger cases iphone 7 No matter what the conversation concerns or the occasion denotes, once things are starting to veer towards the interminable, just place a hand to your cheek, say something like ‘Oh Martin, how could you?’ while staring off into the distance and let the waterworks fly. If they insist on helping you in your time of emotional grief, just tell them you need to take an important tablet and head to the bathroom. MAKE YOUR PHONE DO SOMETHING Why were the bad…

How To Dance Like Nobody’s Watching

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It’s a phrase we’ve heard a lot in recent times. ‘Dance like nobody’s watching’. It was famously coined in the past by a very notable person. But what exactly does it mean? How do you go about it? Can it improve and inspire your life? Does it hurt? All these questions and some other ones will be answered in good time. By following these simple steps you’ll soon be dancing like nobody’s watching you. STEP 1: MINDSET Dancing like nobody’s watching isn’t about dancing. In fact, that’s the last thing that it’s about. Until you get to the bit with the dancing. But before then it’s all about attitude. A distinctly selfish attitude. You basically have to assume that you are the only important factor on the planet right now and you have no regard whatsoever for anything else, be they animal vegetable or pliable. You have to fully convince yourself that no one else exists. And anyone that does exist, you can drive away by your behaviour. This mental attitude begins at home. Start by refusing to answer the door, ignoring phone calls and allowing bills to pile up. kpop iphone 8 case Change your Facebook status to ‘Dead’….

How To Make Steamy Movie Scenes Less Embarrassing

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Obviously, the find the whole idea of X-rated entertainment and erotic cinematic elements to be vile and unethical. But there is no escaping it. We are now bombarded with love scenes from every television soap opera, foreign film and petrol station forecourt. jack wills phone case iphone 7 plus And we are appalled. west ham phone case iphone 6 What about us pure, upstanding individuals who are forced to experience this stuff? Surely there’s some room for invention in an attempt to keep us feeling less embarrassed, especially if our mum is in the room? I believe the following elements would vastly improve adult situations when they crop up and make them more palatable to those of us who consider the whole thing utterly wicked. TRIVIA SECTION If you are of a queasy nature (like myself) you’ll often be squirming in your seat when some rude scenario suddenly appears on screen. But if some competition element was introduced, I could be entertained and distracted during those bits. Perhaps a Krypton Factor style observation quiz could be added, with questions appearing at the end of the scene along the lines of ‘What colour were the curtains?’, ‘Which female celebrity does that…

How To Be Better at Conversation & Small Talk

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I’ve noticed recently that the number of occasions when people flee from my company as I begin talking to them is roughly down to single figures for each day, so I now consider myself to have the gift of the gab. Yes, I am one of those tremendously fortuitous individuals who can simply open up a conversation with practically anyone and they will stand there, rigid with admiration, unable to speak due to my fascinating insights and gesturing frantically to passers-by, so they can join them and also enjoy my words. My abilities and techniques have been slowly assembled over many years and I am finally ready to share them with you lucky, lucky people. So sit back, pour yourself a Lucozade and prepare to learn my trade secrets of polite, enthralling conversation. THE OPENING This is always the most difficult gambit when initiating a conversation with someone. Do you try the traditional ‘hello’? The more relaxed ‘hi’? Or something more unorthodox like ‘ZAPPY PAPPY ZAPPY PAPPY’ screamed at quite a high register. Well, even novices like yourselves will realise that it should be this last one. You only have a few microseconds to make an impression and allow this person to understand that you…

Heads of State: Cost Of Their Cars Vs Corruption

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Look, you don’t want your Head of State to be wandering the streets from parliamentary meeting to trade delegation, getting dust all over their turn-ups and a big, fat sweaty face, do you? No, of course you don’t. iphone 8 case dark That would be an abomination bordering on insanity. iphone 6 battery case rose gold How is your country going to go cap in hand to the World Bank for a much needed bail out, if not in an enormous , glossy, bullet and catapult proof car? If they turned up in a Yugo or Fiat, they would be laughed out of the place before a cheque is cut. iphone 7 plus phone case card Your El Presidente needs a massive motor to provoke respect and instil fear in their many enemies. iphone 7 phone cases pineaple But how do the nice friendly, happy states (hurrah!) match up to those naughty, nasty corrupt ones (boo!)? Do the baddies spend more than the goodies? Well now all those answers, and many more, can be answered with this rather splendid Infographic you see below. iphone 8 soft case ted baker Look, digest and probably get a bit peeved at the craziness…

James Bond VS Jason Bourne: Who’s Hardest?

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If you were to run up to a stranger in the street and scream into their faces, ‘Quickly, who are the two premiere male spy movie icons in the world?’ they would almost certainly reply with fear, ‘James Bond and Jason Bourne. Please don’t hurt me.’ And they would be right! But who is the better espionage agent, the classic, crusty, drunken James Bond or the young, brain-damaged usurper Jason Bourne. Let’s find out together… rabbit phone case iphone 7 INITIALS If you are to be a true gentleman spy, then initials are vitally important. You’ll want to have every possible possession monogrammed, even if you are traveling incognito. Of course, with both James and Jason they are JB’s. But, as is so often the case with these things, it’s more complicated than that. Jason is actually JCB, having the middle name Charles, which is a lot better than Bond’s plain old JB. But let us not forget, Jason Bourne isn’t really Jason Bourne, it’s just one of his many aliases. As far as we can assess, he is really called David Webb, which is a rubbish name. And DW are rubbish initials. WINNER: BOND PUNCHING Certainly, Bond can use…

How To Shoot a Semi-Automatic Gun

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OK, first things first hotshot. What is a semi-automatic weapon? Put simply it’s a gun that ejects a spent shell then loads a bullet into the chamber after the first one is fired (if there’s one available). Unlike those dang muskets that I’ve been favouring lately, which are a pain to load, but do look really nice. touch case iphone 6 They can come in pistol, shotgun or rifle varieties (semi-automatics, not muskets). They are different to automatic firearms, as they are the ones that go NER-NER-NER-NER-NER-NER-NER in a very satisfying way. So, once you are in the vicinity of a semi-automatic gun, how do you fire it without looking like a doofus or making blood come out of yourself? BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING I know how badly you want to shoot that lovely gun that you have in front of you, but first remember a few important safety rules. Never point a gun, any gun, at anyone ever. Even if you know it isn’t loaded. In fact, always assume that any gun you ever handle is loaded and act accordingly. Be concious of where the bangy end of the gun is pointing at all times. Never have your finger…

Welcome to Wish.co.uk

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Please, we beg you, be less boring. Now don’t get all huffy and indignant – even though you do look unbearably cute when you’re pouting. pink iphone 8 plus case glitter We want to help you in your banishment of boredom. matching iphone 6 cases How? Welcome to Wish.co.uk! Your hub for all things excitement. We are offering you, the good people of Earth, a massive array of incredible experiences. We’re talking Zombies, Afternoon Teas, Photoshoots, Skydiving, Sphereing, SWAT Training, River Cruises, Racecar Driving and a literal slew of others. silicone iphone 7 plus phone cases All at a low, low price, fully guaranteed payments and the best customer service on this and any other world. How does it work? Perhaps this fabulous video can illustrate: Still confused? Feel free to finger through our manifesto RIGHT HERE. Everything you need to know is over on our WEBSITE. APRIL 2013 UPDATE: We never got around to doing our blog they way we wanted to. cases for iphone 8 plus glitter Until a quiet Sunday this month. princess phone case iphone 7 plus We’ve *finally* published our old blog posts that were previously unpublished (read: half-finished in the “drafts” folder). case with…

How To Bribe: A Cinematic Guide

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Obviously bribery is very bad. Possibly illegal in some countries. We do not condone it or advise it. Good honest hard work and constant prayer are a far more effective method of getting ahead in life. But, in theory, if you were playing a briber in a local amateur dramatics production or decided to dress up as one for Halloween, how would you go about it? Ironically, as it is the cleanest, most respectful and wholesome industry on the planet, Hollywood can provide some very useful tips on corruption, from the best approach to novel delivery techniques. Watch and learn (but don’t replicate). THE PIE BRIBE (The Shawshank Redemption) One of the problems with bribery is actually delivering the contraband to the bribee without raising suspicions. One sure-fire to achieve this is via pies. bear grylls phone case iphone 6 Sweet pies work better than meat ones (the gravy can get the money greasy) just make sure they are large enough to cover and conceal the cash. THE DOUGHNUT BRIBE (Strange Brew) And sometimes you don’t even need the cash, just the dessert will do! As this scene from the little seen classic Strange Brew indicates. iphones 7 plus case…

Get Your Wish.co.uk Calendar

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Dates. The endless, vile. pointless tyranny of dates. I mean, who really knows what the actual date is? Back in the old days, do you think they were keeping such a tight grip on that sort of thing? ‘What year is it? 1126?’ ‘I thought it was 1304’ ‘Oh really? I’ll go with that then. I’ve got the plague anyway, so who cares?’ That was a typical conversation undertaken by illuminated calendar makers back in the Dark Ages. Depressing isn’t it? Which is why, here at Wish.co.uk, we can never understand why we all have to wait until the end of the year to get our hands on a bumptious and sublime new calendar, with that refreshing new calendar smell. UMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I can’t get enough of it. I mean, what’s the point? If those bumpkins from earlier weren’t keeping a handle of these this stuff then it could easily be 2017, 2155 or 2499 in reality. Yes, we could be in the future, which may explain why I have all this foil attached to me. So why not DOWNLOAD and DISPLAY this exciting new date-gorged enterprise from us. It’s a NEW calendar you can start using right now and which…