Posts By: Dale

The Next Star Wars: Our Movie Plot Predictions

Posted by & filed under How To..., Infographics.

It’s going to be the biggest cultural event in the history of mankind (and animalkind) so far. Yes, we had lots of hype surrounding the last batch of Star Wars films and, yes, they were all slightly disappointing. case for iphone 8 plus personalized But things are going to be be completely different this time. I mean, how crazy would they be to make the same mistakes again, right? So, with a mere 18 months until Episode VII is released, here’s what we think will happen… THE FULL TITLE At the moment, the film is only known as ‘Episode VII’, with the full name yet to be revealed. We know it takes place 30 years or so after Return of the Jedi and involves a bunch of youngsters as well as the original cast, so something hip and child-friendly will probably be incorporated. Maybe something along the lines of Star Wars Episode VII – ‘Han Yolo Twerks a Selfie’ or similar. THE RETURN OF THE CANTINA BAND Easily the stand-out moment of the original film, A New Hope, was the appearance of the tootling space-jazz band, who were seen rocking out in the Mos Eisley Cantina. baseus iphone 7 plus…

How To Kill Time In Any Airport In The World

Posted by & filed under How To....

Holidays would be great if you didn’t have to travel. Where are all the teleportation devices we were promised in lying television shows such as Star Trek and Tomorrow’s World? And Bullseye didn’t help either. Perhaps the most annoying vacation aspect is the airport. Once you’ve checked in, drank heavily and bought a cruller, what’s there left to do? Here are some seriously pointless, utterly ridiculous, potentially life threatening airport time-wasting activities to sort of enjoy… #1 – Announcement Russian Roulette Not for the faint hearted. If you’re in a group of like-minded idiots, wait by the gate but don’t board your plane until the last available second. Then sit there in delirious anticipation as the frustrated airline worker continually calls your name over the loud speaker system. Who will be the last to crack and make themselves known to the counter staff? Will you miss your flight to Bruges completely? Yes. Probably. #2 – Baggage Steeplechase Fun to play with friends, or slightly disturbing to those around you if alone. At the baggage carousel, bet on whose luggage will be first out of the shoot. Dirty tricks such as manoeuvring your suitcase, ‘accidentally’ blocking others and bribing small children…

How to Go Bankrupt Like A Rockstar

Posted by & filed under Celebrities, How To....

Hurrah! You’ve had a lottery win, Great Aunt Sylvia has popped her clogs or your novelty hit ‘Oopy Doopy Fa La La (The Poo Poo Song)‘ is number one in 12 countries. Suddenly you’ve got tons and tons of cash that you’re determined to squander in the most ridiculous way possible. But how to burn through those piles of cash in a way fit for a reality show or hit film? And where to go for advice? Celebs? Of course! If anyone knows how to flush tons of cash down the proverbial bog it’s our stars of stage and screen. Follow these tips and you’ll soon be back working nights at Aldi… Vehicles How many yachts could one man need? Four? Seven? If you want to live a completely reckless celebrity lifestyle, the answer is… there is never enough. And while you can quickly sail away from the paps, you can’t escape form the fact that they cost a boatload of money. While I don’t thing Kerry Katona had a big boat, it is rumoured she had £1.8 million worth of vehicles, before she went bust in 2008. While footballing legend George Best claimed,  “They say I wasted my money….

Win Fantastic Wish.co.uk Prizes With Fanta!

Posted by & filed under Competitions.

  Do you want to win amazing, once in a lifetime prizes? Oh you don’t. I wasn’t really expecting that. Most people… Oh! You were joking! You are quite a card aren’t you? No wonder your life partner is so attractive, with a sense of humour like that. Of course you want to win these magnificent, life-lubricating prizes, especially when you hear that Fanta is involved. That’s right, Fanta, your favourite ever beverage. Slow down and stop clawing at my shins and ankles! I’m about to tell you how you can enter. Simply buy a special promotional pack of Orange, Orange Zero or Fruit Twist Fanta, find the unique code and then enter the code on the Fanta website over at www.fanta.co.uk/fanta100 Then two whole winners will be drawn in a completely random way (I have seen the photos and, boy oh boy, is it ever random) every day from now until July 7th 2014. And at what time of the day will the drawings take place? The only time that makes sense: afternoons. Or perhaps mornings. Actually I don’t know, they won’t let me into that part of the building. And the things you can win, you ask? Things so wondrous…

Wish.co.uk Goodies on ITV’s Tipping Point

Posted by & filed under Celebrities, News.

It’s the only game show on television that utilises the power of those seaside, two pence, shuffle based amusement games that have no official name. No really, I’m serious, what are those things called? Coiny Slot Drops? Yes, it’s Tipping Point. And despite the infuriating incomprehension of having no name for the machine at the heart of the show, we still love it and particularly it’s host Ben Shephard. BEN! BEN! I’m assuming you Google your own name constantly so will probably read this. BEN! BEN! Did you get the socks I knitted? One with T embroidered on it and the other with P? I don’t know if I made it clear in my six page letter, but that stands for Tipping Point! You see, it’s clever, like you. I was at the Frankie & Bennys on the night I mentioned in the letter, but I didn’t see you. You were probably busy being hunky and ace. Anyway, my Shepard based fantasises edge ever close to reality as Wish.co.uk provides one of the prizes for an upcoming show. This Wednesday, March 19th at 4pm, drop everything and glue yourself to the television, as I will be doing and you’ll see our…

The Weirdest Things That Got Motorised (& Why)

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

The British have been putting motors into inappropriate things since the dawn of time. Way back in caveman days, according to a documentary I was watching the other day, Neanderthals were using their own feet to propel themselves in primitive vehicular forms and using animals such as pelicans as buckets and rubbish bins. Come to think of it, I might have been watching The Flintstones. And even that seems unlikely as my wife took the television with her when she left 4 years ago. I’M SO LONELY. And that wonderful tradition of yamming an engine into somewhere that it has no natural right to go continues to this day. People the world over have gathered the British mantle and are now motorising all manner of inanimate objects, just for the glory of appearing in an Infographic. And today, I make all their dreams blossom into reality as the Infographic below outlines their exploits and achievements in a way that ‘Infographic Monthly Magazine’ (you get a pixel free with every edition until, after 96 weeks, you have your own Infographic) described as ‘bold’ and ‘cheeky’. Our fingers are crossed for the upcoming ‘Infographies’ the awards ceremony for the Infographic industry held…

How To Build a Monster Truck

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

Wait, so great big Monster Trucks aren’t the result of a juggernaut getting it on with a camper van? No! Apparently neither mechanics nor nature work in that way. Boy is my face red. Instead Monster Trucks are painstakingly constructed by human beings. Human beings with passion, big tyres and too much time on their hands. And probably an extensive collection of novelty belt buckles. Don’t ask me why, I just picture them that way. ‘But yes,’ you warble, ‘you’ve certainly given me the vague ballpark nutshell of all that Monster Truck hoo-hah, but I’m on a particular brand of medication that forces me to insist on obtaining VERY SPECIFIC DETAILS about EVERYTHING and then add them to my dossier, which is called ‘The Dossier’ and buried in a country park not far from here’. Behold! The Infographic below (if you’re not seeing the Infographic below, what’s wrong with you? Why have you got to cause trouble, eh?) fills you in on every aspect of Monster Truck construction from lug nuts to wing nuts. And many nuts in between. Upset your friends and baffle you enemies with your astounding range of new truck knowledge. And then spread the word like…

The World’s Very Worst Cars According To Wish.co.uk

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

With cars, like footballers, certainly the expensive ones catch the eye, but the truly terrible ones are far more entertaining. Yes, watching a gazelle-like centre-forward hurtling down the flank, dummying four defenders and then slotting home a delicate chip is very nice, but watching a donkey of a defender taking a huge swipe at the ball, missing by several feet and somehow kicking himself in the knackers is going to get more hits on You Tube. And so it is we turn to vehicular donkeys. Those cars that, rather than being produced with precision and flair, are more thrown together by glueing some metal onto a shopping trolley and waving an engine in its general direction while being sick. Clunkers, bangers and lemons that are all beautifully represented in our Infographic below. Think of it as a sort of virtual wallchart that you can ‘hang’ (post) onto your ‘wall’ (internet). And if you want to tell the world about low quality automobiles, like a cut-rate Jeremy Clarkson with a speech impediment and a squint, just swipe the code from beneath the image and paste anywhere you like! Even a haberdashers! And if you like drivey car type things, we’ve got…

Vernon Kay Revs Our Engines On All Star Family Fortunes

Posted by & filed under News.

  We’ve been at it again! No, that thing. We have apologised for that profusely and are attempting to move on with our lives. No, we’ve been at the All Star Family Fortune gift giveaway thing again! This time, as you can see from Vernon’s cheeky little grin behind that convincing steering wheel, we supplied one of our fabulous driving experiences to one lucky competitor. In the hotly contested Coronation Street special, which saw the families of Andy Whyment compete against Debbie Rush, lucky duck David Rush said the word ‘pen’ and then all hell broke loose. Not only had he picked the top answer for ‘What non-spoon items do people stir their tea with’ but also swiped a spot prize. Dave blagged on of our amazing Spokes and Slicks driving days at Goodwood, featuring a whole slew of classic vehicles, just waiting for his attractive, nubile frame to slip into them. To that man we declare Kudos! And hope good fortune rains down on all the Rush’s and their kin. See more crazy Vernon action on All Star Family Fortunes, Sunday tea-time on ITV 1. Will we give away more amazing stuff? Tune in to find out. Or watch the…

Win An Omlet Gift In Our Mother’s Day Competition

Posted by & filed under Competitions.

Everyone has a mother. Unless you are a cyborg. Are you a cyborg? Because if you are, and I ask, you have to tell me. That’s the law. Ok, fine, you’re not a cyborg. Soon it will be Mother’s Day. Literally the Day of the Mothers. A time to reflect and regard mothers of all varieties. Except the really bad ones. Let’s try to keep them out of it. They don’t deserve a day. But what can you possibly give to your mother that she hasn’t already given to you? If she’s anything like my mum, she’ll constantly remind you that she provided the gift of life. ‘Here Mum, I got you some chocolates.’ ‘That’s nice, though I gave you the gift of life.’ ‘Hi Mum, here’s that Catherine Cookson box-set you asked for.’ ‘Great. Nearly as great as the gift of life I gave you.’ ‘Bitcoins?’ ‘Gift of life.’ You can’t really win. But, rather than the gift of life (which would be impractical and strange) what about giving your mother the gift of a lifetime? Or, even better, entering a competition where you might win the gift of a lifetime? Yes, you’re right, that is even better. Thanks…