Posts By: Dale

How To Build a Monster Truck

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

Wait, so great big Monster Trucks aren’t the result of a juggernaut getting it on with a camper van? No! Apparently neither mechanics nor nature work in that way. Boy is my face red. Instead Monster Trucks are painstakingly constructed by human beings. Human beings with passion, big tyres and too much time on their hands. And probably an extensive collection of novelty belt buckles. Don’t ask me why, I just picture them that way. ‘But yes,’ you warble, ‘you’ve certainly given me the vague ballpark nutshell of all that Monster Truck hoo-hah, but I’m on a particular brand of medication that forces me to insist on obtaining VERY SPECIFIC DETAILS about EVERYTHING and then add them to my dossier, which is called ‘The Dossier’ and buried in a country park not far from here’. Behold! The Infographic below (if you’re not seeing the Infographic below, what’s wrong with you? Why have you got to cause trouble, eh?) fills you in on every aspect of Monster Truck construction from lug nuts to wing nuts. And many nuts in between. Upset your friends and baffle you enemies with your astounding range of new truck knowledge. And then spread the word like…

The World’s Very Worst Cars According To Wish.co.uk

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

With cars, like footballers, certainly the expensive ones catch the eye, but the truly terrible ones are far more entertaining. Yes, watching a gazelle-like centre-forward hurtling down the flank, dummying four defenders and then slotting home a delicate chip is very nice, but watching a donkey of a defender taking a huge swipe at the ball, missing by several feet and somehow kicking himself in the knackers is going to get more hits on You Tube. And so it is we turn to vehicular donkeys. Those cars that, rather than being produced with precision and flair, are more thrown together by glueing some metal onto a shopping trolley and waving an engine in its general direction while being sick. Clunkers, bangers and lemons that are all beautifully represented in our Infographic below. Think of it as a sort of virtual wallchart that you can ‘hang’ (post) onto your ‘wall’ (internet). And if you want to tell the world about low quality automobiles, like a cut-rate Jeremy Clarkson with a speech impediment and a squint, just swipe the code from beneath the image and paste anywhere you like! Even a haberdashers! And if you like drivey car type things, we’ve got…

Vernon Kay Revs Our Engines On All Star Family Fortunes

Posted by & filed under News.

  We’ve been at it again! No, that thing. We have apologised for that profusely and are attempting to move on with our lives. No, we’ve been at the All Star Family Fortune gift giveaway thing again! This time, as you can see from Vernon’s cheeky little grin behind that convincing steering wheel, we supplied one of our fabulous driving experiences to one lucky competitor. In the hotly contested Coronation Street special, which saw the families of Andy Whyment compete against Debbie Rush, lucky duck David Rush said the word ‘pen’ and then all hell broke loose. Not only had he picked the top answer for ‘What non-spoon items do people stir their tea with’ but also swiped a spot prize. Dave blagged on of our amazing Spokes and Slicks driving days at Goodwood, featuring a whole slew of classic vehicles, just waiting for his attractive, nubile frame to slip into them. To that man we declare Kudos! And hope good fortune rains down on all the Rush’s and their kin. See more crazy Vernon action on All Star Family Fortunes, Sunday tea-time on ITV 1. Will we give away more amazing stuff? Tune in to find out. Or watch the…

Heads of State: Cost Of Their Cars Vs Corruption

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

Look, you don’t want your Head of State to be wandering the streets from parliamentary meeting to trade delegation, getting dust all over their turn-ups and a big, fat sweaty face, do you? No, of course you don’t. That would be an abomination bordering on insanity. How is your country going to go cap in hand to the World Bank for a much needed bail out, if not in an enormous , glossy, bullet and catapult proof car? If they turned up in a Yugo or Fiat, they would be laughed out of the place before a cheque is cut. Your El Presidente needs a massive motor to provoke respect and instil fear in their many enemies. But how do the nice friendly, happy states (hurrah!) match up to those naughty, nasty corrupt ones (boo!)? Do the baddies spend more than the goodies? Well now all those answers, and many more, can be answered with this rather splendid Infographic you see below. Look, digest and probably get a bit peeved at the craziness of it all. And, just like the government does to your tax money, you can STEAL this magnificent artefact by swiping the code that lies beneath it…

Win An Omlet Gift In Our Mother’s Day Competition

Posted by & filed under Competitions.

Everyone has a mother. Unless you are a cyborg. Are you a cyborg? Because if you are, and I ask, you have to tell me. That’s the law. Ok, fine, you’re not a cyborg. Soon it will be Mother’s Day. Literally the Day of the Mothers. A time to reflect and regard mothers of all varieties. Except the really bad ones. Let’s try to keep them out of it. They don’t deserve a day. But what can you possibly give to your mother that she hasn’t already given to you? If she’s anything like my mum, she’ll constantly remind you that she provided the gift of life. ‘Here Mum, I got you some chocolates.’ ‘That’s nice, though I gave you the gift of life.’ ‘Hi Mum, here’s that Catherine Cookson box-set you asked for.’ ‘Great. Nearly as great as the gift of life I gave you.’ ‘Bitcoins?’ ‘Gift of life.’ You can’t really win. But, rather than the gift of life (which would be impractical and strange) what about giving your mother the gift of a lifetime? Or, even better, entering a competition where you might win the gift of a lifetime? Yes, you’re right, that is even better. Thanks…

How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

Posted by & filed under Uncategorized.

One of the most talked-about features concerning the aftermath of biochemical and neurochemical warfare, other than the cheap price of cookware and other luxury comestibles,  is the possibility of a zombie invasion. Many of us are sure to be turned into these half-dead creatures that feature so frequently in quality movies and also seem to crop up with alarming regularity when you wander through a certain disused shopping mall in Reading. Of course, the hilarious way that the heroes of Shaun of the Dead try to fight off some very bitey zombies by throwing some well-chosen vinyl at them (not Purple Rain, obvs) is never going to be an adequate response.  So what would your government do if there were to be a real Zombie Apocalypse, and how likely is it to actually happen? The bad news is if you believe the United States Center for Disease Control and Prevention (and we do), then LQP-79 is your worst nightmare come true. Mild symptoms of people infected by this virus include high fever and vomiting together with chest pains, raised blood pressure and an increased heart rate.  But if you are unfortunate enough to develop severe symptoms, then you will be…

Everything You Need To Know About The Internet of Things

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

OK, so we know there’s an internet. We are also aware of things. But what happens when the two concepts meet? Sheer undiluted horror. Why? Well, look over at some inanimate machine that is in your purview. Let’s say it’s a toaster. Stupid isn’t it? Sitting there serving no purpose whatsoever until we have those infrequent occasions when we want to make bread turn brown. We judge the machine and we are safe in that judgement, because it can do nothing in its defence. Except that soon it will be able to do something. It will wait until we are sleeping, creep into our bedrooms and slip scalding hot bagels beneath our slumbering buttocks. And you can thank the internet for that. Soon all electronic objects will be networked, then they will think, then they will plot and then they’ll do the bagel thing. Once we are all dead, they can look at this delightful Infographic below and laugh as it charts our doom while illustrating the rise of the machines. And what’s more, we heralded this demise by allowing you to take the code that sits down there and post this information on your very own machine, so it…

Rent-a-Rebound: Vex Your Ex

Posted by & filed under News.

There is nothing worse than getting dumped. OK, there are seven things worse than getting dumped, but they are all really sad and painful (and one involves volcanoes), so let’s not dwell on them. And the most distressing element of suddenly finding oneself single? Thinking about all the fun that your previous conquest is having without you. How can that be fair? It can’t, that’s how ‘be’ it is. But can this balance be redressed, without an appearance in the local newspaper and graffiti appearing on various nearby bus shelters close to your home, referring to you as ‘a shorter Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction’. We have just the thing! With our new service, Rent-a-Rebound, we weave a fictional tapestry of positive re-enforcement, whereby you are paired with the perfect virtual partner who plasters your various social media outlets with glittering flattery, exceptionally thoughtful comments and a wealth of dates that would make Beyonce and Jay-Z puke with jealousy. Now remember, none of this is real. It’s simply a smokescreen so that any previous lovers, or those that have foolishly forsaken your love, can see how blissfully fulfilled you are in every avenue of your life and are now regretting…

What Are The GTA 5 Cars In Real Life?

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

What’s your favourite bit of the gaming behemoth GTA 5? Is it the random beatings, the sudden bursts of ultra-violence or the hidden Dido concerts? No, of course it’s the cars! Those wonderful, animated, floridly titled cars. We all have our favourites, with many of us having multiple posters adorning the walls of our bedsits. But if you are anything like me (and I sincerely hope that you aren’t, it’s awful) you may have wondered what the real inspiration for these magnificent automobiles could have been. Well, don’t scratch your head until a well-formed groove appears on your cranium any longer. We’ve got the information you need right here! In handy dandy Infographic form, so it looks pretty and everything. And what is more, you can swipe the magical code beneath the image and stick the darned thing anywhere you fancy. Though it should probably be a website or blog, otherwise the council might be after you. And if all this car nonsense has awakened the Petrolhead within you, have a gander at our marvellous collection of driving experiences RIGHT HERE

How To Take Afternoon Tea Like The British

Posted by & filed under Celebrities, How To....

What could be more British than Afternoon Tea? A bulldog lapping up a balti resting on a Paul Nicholas album? Nope, Afternoon Tea takes the biscuit. Apparently we should blame the 7th Duchess of Bedford for adding this extra layer of snobbery to our already tradition-laden customs as she had a sinking feeling by late afternoon and simply could not wait until dinner. So, as a Ginsters and a Mars bar was not really an option in those days, she ordered tea, bread and butter plus cakes and the rest, as they say, is history. What is afternoon tea? Because we have to confuse even the simplest procedures, the British actually invented two kinds of afternoon tea: Low Tea and High Tea. Our dear American friends still get gloriously baffled in that delightful way of theirs by the whole ‘scone and beverage’ business and they seem to think that High Tea implies a high class, expensive meal enjoyed by well-heeled members of the aristocracy. Well, as the Yankee Doodles say, ‘Lemme tell ya how it all be, pilgrim’. High Tea actually refers to an afternoon tea served on a dining table and Low Tea tends to rest on a low…