"The ultimate indulgence for a chocoholic." The Sun

We all know chocolate is the greatest thing since the Vauxhall Viva, but did you know about its relaxing wrapping qualities? Champneys does!

Since chocolate was invented by the husband and wife team of Marcel and Rosa Nougat in the 1970s, we’ve enjoyed it in bar form. Then a drunken heating engineer invented the chocolate fountain when playing with some pipes and the world was changed forever.

But now the relaxing qualities of wrapping yourself in chocolate has been unearthed by very low-grade scientists. The ones usually quoted in shampoo commercials. Pop into your local Champneys day spa and succumb to the thrills of choco-therapy.

Once in the spa, well, you’ll probably have your coat taken and be asked how you are. And then… erm… you may be offered a beverage of some kind. Like tea. Or coffee. Or pop. But then the pampering begins in a crazy, full-throttled, maddening kind of way.

First up there will be a body exfoliation. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that your skeleton is removed or altered in any way. Instead this prepares your skin for the wonders ahead. Once defoliafied, hairless and excited, the chocolate wrapping will commence. This calorie-free body wrap will soothe, calm and titillate your skin.

The lovely smell of molten chocolate will relax you. Unless you have a deep fear of chocolate. Then a scalp massage will drive you into relaxation overdrive. And to finish this wondrous experience, body butter will be massaged into you, to moisturise and make you quite slippery. Chocolate, scalp, butter. All the food groups covered.

So revel (ha!) in the sheer indulgence of the Champneys relaxing chocolate wrapper. And turn yourself into a great, big Crunchie.