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10 Downing Street Experience

We've big, big savings on The Big Society with this once-in-a-lifetime Downing Street deal!
£250,000
Free Delivery
Now sold out
  • Gain instant access & tweak coalition policy just how you like it.
  • Be "first amongst equals" for this rock-bottom price.
  • Ask about our "Big Society" specials
Description


"Why bother voting?" you garble, as you siphon alcopops into your hoodie, while sitting on a burning skip. "It doesn’t change anything."

No it doesn’t – but do you know what does? Cash!

Let’s not be naïve. Money talks and nonsense walks – especially in the heady, over-sized rosette world of politics.

And here at Wish.co.uk, we’re offering you the simplest way to have your political dreams and aspirations turned into policy. By paying for it. Hey, it works for the rest of Europe.


Democracy in action



In this very exclusive offer, for a small *cough* "donation" of – let’s say £250,000 – you can actually get inside 10 Downing Street, meet the big cheeses and possibly eat some big cheeses with them.

We’re offering you direct access to the top political movers and shakers. All you have to do is pay a completely reasonable sum of money.

Ever fancied having a local bridge named after you? Disgusted by the price of petrol/meat/internet pornography? Don’t like the look of that bloke upstairs and want some kind of embargo against him? No problem!

All these delicious policy choices are just a stuffed envelope away. Pay the appropriate fee and we promise you’ll be within lapel-poking distance of a government minister of your choice.

Quarter mill sound a bit steep? We've a package for every budget:

£10,000

We’ll ensure a strongly worded Post It note will be attached to the Dispatch Box or office door of a prominent coalition grandee (generous discounts apply if they’re Lib-Dem) stating your demands.

£50,000

A recognisable government member will appear at an event, fun run or recycling centre opening of your choice.

They will pretend to know you, smile genially in your direction and call you by a nickname selected by you (‘Big Dog’, ‘The Chief’ etc).

£100,000

Half-day membership to the secret society that runs all branches of media, politics, economics and the Royal Family.

Housed in an ornate bunker under Ripley’s Believe It Or Not at Piccadilly Circus, you’ll witness either a state-sanctioned assassination, bloodless coup or wholesale destruction of a beloved societal institution of your choice.

(Includes buffet and one glass of Lambrusco.)

£250,000

The full monty. Meet the Big Cheese at Number 10 Downing Street. Use the toilet. Have your picture taken with him under a painting of Winston Churchill. Use the toilet again. Convince him to steer policy in a direction of your choosing.

Then shake his hand, give him a manful pat on the shoulder, hug him and possibly ride around on his back like he’s a little pony.


Special toilet, designed for enormous Eastern European dignitaries



Children, animals and people of a foreign extraction can take advantage of this once-in-a-electoral-term opportunity. Any currency is accepted (particularly rubles and whatever they use in Syria). We’re not worried about where it’s from, just where it’s going. Which is straight into the heart of the political machine.

Don’t forget citizens, these people work for you! And, like workers everywhere, they are idle and feckless until they get some "effing around" money. Grease the wheels of democracy in the most efficient method known. No, not voting you dummy. Hard cold cash.

Make a difference. Become slightly poorer - both financially and morally. Get unique access to the most precious address in democratic history. Pay your way straight into Number 10!

What happens on the day?
Upon receipt of £250,000 in dirty fivers, you'll be handed the keys to the coalition governments policy locker (slightly shabby, two careful owners). ....
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Your voucher is valid for one electoral term. Void where electoral corruption prohibited by law.