Dispatch the tyranny of a singular beauty treatments into the French prison island of memory with this choice of two glittering experiences from six amazing beauty things.

Yes, the power is with you. No more will you be dissatisfied with having one manky beauty treatment foisted upon you like the last orphan in the pit. We’re giving you the chance to choose a pair of wondrous, relaxing experiences from a pile of six.

What are these six, you scream while standing on a table? Please, if you could get down from there. I notice you’re wearing clogs and I don’t have a coaster under you. First up is a refreshing and revitalising facial, where your forehead, cheeks and jowls will be treated to some lovely creams and rubbing.

Then there are two types of ancient stone massage: ice and fire. Perhaps you could pick these as your two choices and have wildly opposite experiences. That could possibly cancel each other out and leave you back where you started. Moving on, there's a Balinese head massage, where your scalp is manipulated into sheer bliss.

Finally there are the choices of a Hasta-abhyanga forearm and hand massage and a Pada-abhyanga lower leg and foot massage, using Indian techniques to relieve stress and induce pleasure. Pick two out of that lot and, with 60% off the experience, you’ll be walking on air.