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Massage Therapies & Treatment Days


Q: Massage? But how?
A: Massages are a great way to relieve stress and can temporarily help reduce anxiety, blood pressure and heart rates.
Q: What sort of massage are we doing here?
A: Usually it’s the traditional Swedish massage. This focuses on the kneading of adhesions or 'knots' in people's muscles and uses sliding, kneading, tapping and shaking movements to help relieve muscular areas of the body of stress.
Q: Do I have to get nude?
A: You’ll probably have to be at least partially unclothed for the treatment.
Q: But I’m a delicate little flower!
A: If you would feel uncomfortable with someone of the opposite sex kneading you excessively, you can request a single-sex male massage or female massage.
Q: And where do I have to deliver myself to?
A: We have massage locations littered all over the country. One is almost certainly practically on your doorstep right now as we speak.
Q: How long will the rubbing take?
A: It depends on the sort of experience you choose, probably anywhere between a quick 20 minute knead to a full hour of aggressive manipulation.
Q: So will it be all business? Just a massage and get out?
A: You can combine your massage with a whole host of other treatments and activities, at a top spa with towels and everything. It all depends on the type of experience you pick.
Q: So can anyone get massaged?
A: If you have any medical complaints or issues that might affect your full massage enjoyment, let the supplier know when you book. Or just contact us with any worries or concerns.
Q: And do I have to bring anything?
A: As you will be disrobing, perhaps wear loose, easily droppable clothing. Not a crazy suit of armour or dungarees with excessive buckles and stuff like that. It should expressly state on your experience page if there is anything specific you need to provide.

Fun Facts

  • 1. The word comes from the French ‘massage’ which means ‘friction of kneading’, or from the Arabic ‘massa’ meaning ‘to touch, feel or handle’ or from Latin ‘massa’ meaning ‘dough. So in conclusion, sounds like the eggheads don’t really know. Again.
  • 2. The Tomb of Akmanthor from 2330BC in Saqqara, Egypt depicts two men having their feet and hands massaged. Or possibly high-fiving each other, it’s quite a blurry picture.
  • 3. In 460BC, Hippocrates wrote that ‘The physician must be experienced in many things, but assuredly in rubbing’. But should we trust a man who crates hippos? Personally I don’t think so.
  • 4. 18th Century Swedish physical therapist Pehr Henrik Ling, has been called the ‘Father of Massage’, which is a terrible name for a kid. Massage Ling? He should be ashamed of himself.
  • 5. As of 2009 US consumers spent between $4 to $6 billion on visits to massage therapists. And how much did the massage therapists spend on Enya CDs? We may never know.
  • 6. The 1984 LA Summer Olympics were the first time that massage therapy was televised, as it was being performed on the athletes. Not as a competitive event I assume. Though it’s probably as thrilling as that dancing around with a ribbon thing they do.
  • 7. It is claimed that Roman Emperor Julius Caesar used massage to help treat his epilepsy. Is this why there’s a salad named after him? Because people who like massage tend to like salad? I’d like to think so.
  • 8. Bob Hope, who lived to be 100 years old, had a daily massage that he claimed helped his longevity. If only they’d rubbed harder, he might have made 101.
  • 9. There are approximately 5 million touch receptors in our skin and 3000 in a single fingertip. Which is why you should pick things up with your fingers, not with your elbows because you think microscopic germs will infiltrate your pores and go on to start World War III (like that man in the precinct thinks).