Oh Vernon Kay, You Nautical Devil

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It was like a fabulous dream finally realised.

For years now, just to pass the time, we have thought deeply about Vernon Kay in sailor gear, skippering a small vessel, while we stand nearby holding his rollocks (oh come on, it’s a boating term, look it up). At church, during pilates, even while undergoing works-related away days involving trust exercises, we’ve wished and hoped that one day VK (as we call him) would don a stripy top, jaunty hat and a delighted expression.

So we are doubly thrilled that not only did we finally see our fantasies come true, but we were somewhat responsible. Let me set the scene…

It was a Sunday evening, around 8.14pm. We were thoroughly enjoying a particularly tense session of All Star Family Fortunes featuring the McFadden’s (Westlife) versus the Parish’s (EastEnders). Don Parish had just provided an answer, an exciting sound was heard and then before us, like Nelson meshed with Adonis, there was Vern aboard a vessel with a comical playmate in tow and an unconvincing seagull not far away.

You see, Don Parish had just won a bonus prize, which was supplied by us! A sailing day, just off Southampton. Here is Don Parish, thinking about all the boaty fun that was about to come his way…



And to illustrate his victory, we saw Vernon and his cap. Another one to cross off the bucket list.

If you’d like to witness the entire McFaddin/Parish slug fest, you can watch it on the ITV Player RIGHT HERE. We’ve watched it. Many times. In fact ITV have got in touch and requested that we stop. We’re clogging up their bandwidth or something.

There’ll be more Wish.co.uk goodies for celebrities and the close relatives of celebrities to win on All Star Family Fortunes on Sunday 2nd March so tune in!

To book your own sailing day of fun and frolics, tack starboardly THIS WAY

And Vernon, if you’re reading this, did you get my etchings?