Everything You Need To Know About The Internet of Things

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OK, so we know there’s an internet. We are also aware of things. But what happens when the two concepts meet?

Sheer undiluted horror.

Why? Well, look over at some inanimate machine that is in your purview. Let’s say it’s a toaster. Stupid isn’t it? Sitting there serving no purpose whatsoever until we have those infrequent occasions when we want to make bread turn brown. We judge the machine and we are safe in that judgement, because it can do nothing in its defence.

Except that soon it will be able to do something. It will wait until we are sleeping, creep into our bedrooms and slip scalding hot bagels beneath our slumbering buttocks. And you can thank the internet for that. Soon all electronic objects will be networked, then they will think, then they will plot and then they’ll do the bagel thing.

Once we are all dead, they can look at this delightful Infographic below and laugh as it charts our doom while illustrating the rise of the machines. And what’s more, we heralded this demise by allowing you to take the code that sits down there and post this information on your very own machine, so it can make plans to destroy you.

And may God have mercy on our souls.