As a civilisation, we love things being inside other things. Meat inside bread forms the globes favourite food: the sandwich! People inside rooms creates the best sort of dwelling: a house! Men with big beards inside caves are our most enjoyable type of weirdo: the hermit! But occasionally, due to human error or witchcraft, things that are never supposed to be in other things end up in other things. And then the internet writes about it. Here is just a smattering of bizarre items that have unexpectedly turned up within stuff they shouldn’t have.
A CHILD IN A PARCEL
Fans of the Velvet Underground will know the tale of poor Waldo who, in the song The Gift, who mails himself to his girlfriend in a big box with disastrous results. But Waldo wasn’t the first to try this. After the US postal service was created in 1913, people immediately started taking the mickey and pushing this new novelty enterprise to its limits by seeing what weird stuff they could send to each other. Including, in 1913, a baby which the Beauge family of Ohio sent parcel post to it’s grandmother, as it was cheaper than the train. Even though the child arrived safe and sound, the practice was soon outlawed.
A POOH IN A SEWER PIPE
You would think that the sewer would be the perfect place for a Pooh. That’s what they were built for after all. But this was an enormous Winnie the Pooh cuddly toy which someone, bizarrely, had tried to flush down the lav and ended up blocking the waste pipe somewhere in Scotland. Was it a bathroom based experiment gone wrong, or had Winnie looked at it’s owner in a funny way one time too many? We may never know.
A FIR TREE INSIDE A PERSON
Remember that old wives tale about eating an apple pip and having an apple tree inside you? Well it’s time to find that old wife, shake her firmly by the hand and give her a congratulatory hamper, because it can happen. A 28 year-old Russian man thought he had a cancerous growth and underwent surgical treatment. The astonished doctors discovered a three inch fir tree that had sprouted from the exterior of his lung. Experts think he inhaled the pine seed which then propagated within him. Other experts think it was all made up.
A FROG IN A COMPUTER
In one of the most bizarre and confusing amphibian mysteries ever, a computer engineer in British Columbia, Canada took a customer’s PC apart to trace a fault and found a huge, and fried, frog inside. The company involved had actually built the computer, so they know the frog wasn’t in there when it was manufactured and there were no slots or holes big enough for it to crawl inside. Who could have Kermitted such a thing? Sorry.
A POLAR BEAR IN A SHARK
Like us, I’m sure you’ve all played that game where you theoretically pit one savage beast against another. Who would win between a badger and a baboon? A monkey and a horse with a trident? A porcupine and a mouse with laser eyes? Well, at least one of these imaginary battles has now been solved as experts cracked open a Greenland shark and were stunned to find the jawbone of a polar bear inside. It’s unknown whether the bear was already dead and had been scavenged or had been a poor swimmer and old sharky took advantage. Either way, sharks rule, bears drool.
A CHICKEN HEAD IN A HAPPY MEAL
It was not such a happy meal for any of the parties concerned when a woman in Virginia USA purchased a couple of McDonald’s treats for her kids but found one of the nuggets staring up at her. An entire chicken head, with comb, beak and everything, had been breadcrumb coated and deep-fried before being dropped in her box. The apologetic restaurant offered her a free meal, but she had probably lost her appetite at that point and decided she would rather sue them.
CELL PHONE IN A BAG OF CRISPS
In 2009 a Wisconsin woman (why do all these things happen in middle America?) was excited to tuck into a delicious bag of Clancy’s Ripple Potato Chips, possibly while watching a Project Runway marathon (unconfirmed at this point) when instead of clutching a crunchy, greasy treat in her mitt, she was holding a really old Nokia cell phone. Really old, like the sort your dad would use. It had a T-Mobile SIM card and appeared to have once been attached to a belt clip, though it wouldn’t turn on. The store concerned immediately pulled all Clancy crisps from the shelves. What else did they think they’d find? A fax machine? A dot matrix printer? A PS1?
A STRANGER IN THE WALLS
If you have walls of your own and are of a nervous disposition, stop reading now. Two brothers were engaging in horseplay (note: never engage in horseplay) in a new home their family had just moved into when they bumped into a built in bookshelf. The bookshelf moved slightly and they realised it was a secret door that led to a spiral staircase. The staircase appeared to lead nowhere, but then they noticed a small gap in the wall, which they investigated. Behind that was a small secret room which appeared to have someone living in it. There was discarded food, a strange key and a couple of creepy dolls, for added creepiness. Police were called, DNA was taken, but no-one ever returned and they never discovered who had been living in their walls or what they were doing there. Obviously, this being the internet, it’s probably a certain amount of fakery going on. But still…weird.