Twitter can be used for many wondrous things: veiled threats, overt threats, passive-aggressive threats…
But it also an excellent tool for those looking for journalists’ and the like, who try to find unsuspecting rubes to illustrate their article on ‘Why I Smell and I’m Proud Of It’ on the social media network using the #journorequest hashtag.
But amongst the desperate, deadline-compromising pleas are some excellent spoofs, pastiches and giggleblips, as well as legitimate ones that are too abstract to be believed.
The excitable @Brainmage hurts all of our minds with this superb combination of astro-surrealism and the magically mundane:
Can anyone help find an early 20th Century Bellhop who travelled through time in order to battle intergalactic mindviruses? #journorequest
— Guy (@Brainmage) March 6, 2013
Some tell a baffling little story all on their own:
#journorequest If said Spam Javelin broke in 2 mid-flight, all the better. After reaction, thoughts, feelings etcs… It’s for a thing
— Morgan Colohan (@Morgans_Plinth) March 6, 2013
A few have a vague air of truth about them. I’m sure I saw this show on Channel 4. It was part of the ‘Body Gosh’ series:
#journorequest Looking for people who collect Goblin vacuum cleaners for a feature on STI clinics.
— loveandgarbage (@loveandgarbage) March 6, 2013
The occasional personal ad sneaks in, but how are Journos supposed to meet people?
Seeking person with a smart mouth & huge cheekbones to comment on shite TV with me. Will provide popcorn & wine. And kissing. #journorequest
— Hannah Chutzpah (@Hannah_Chutzpah) March 6, 2013
Some scream ‘I’ve been staring at the computer screen for 11 hours straight and now I don’t know what everything means’:
Plural of mongoose anyone? Mongooses or mongeese? The latter sounds ridiculous, but I like it #journorequest
— Sam Dimmer (@samdimmer) February 9, 2013
@JoeThe Dough gives us all that warm, fuzzy feeling that can only be described as ‘unspecified fear’:
Looking for the Kwisatz Haderach, or any male with mental powers capable of bridging space and/or time. #journorequest
— Joe Saunders (@JoeTheDough) March 4, 2013
They can even be satirical, as @dangusset proves:
Looking to speak to a German ex-pat who has been forced to resign from a position of religious power #journorequest (can pay in children)
— Pope Dan Gusset (@dangusset) March 4, 2013
Some don’t mean to be funny, but manage it through the marvellous world of typos:
Come and teat drive the new big app before launch! Hang w/. Remember the name! Will be huge! hangwith.com #journorequest
— Rob Shoesmith (@shoesmith81) February 21, 2013
And the final word has to go to @LoveandGarbage:
#journorequest Write more interesting stuff. Thanks
— loveandgarbage (@loveandgarbage) March 6, 2013