Fun With a Capital Squirt!

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Water can be used for many wondrous things. Ice statues of the Chuckle Brothers. Erotic waterfalls. Fog.

But surely the greatest aquatic development since that big banana thing you ride on at Kavos is a little item that we call the Water Jetpack. Have two words ever sounded finer together? It’s like Bacon and bap. Benny and Bjorn. Chuck and Norris.

Water Jetpacking has taken the world of extremeness and celebrity (and celebrity extremeness) by storm, with stars of the magnitude of Leonardo Di Caprio and Vin Diesel strapping on these powerful spurting devices and flying up into air like some form of astounding moist superhero.

But I know what you are thinking: ‘Sure, it’s fine for those big Hollywood superstars to swan off to San Tropez or Richard Branson Island and revel in some Water Jetpacking. But what about a lummox like me? With a mortgage and a limp?’ As Robert Benigni said so often ‘Don’t you worry about that no more.’

Now all the glamour and excitement and dampness of Water Jetpacking is available to you in London’s fashionable Docklands district. Just hop on the Docklands Light Railway, head to the Water Jetpacking indoctrination centre, strap on the foot and arm devices and spurt yourself high up into the air! Full details can be found RIGHT HERE.

And if you wish to Water Jetpack elsewhere in the country, then take a look OVER HERE.

So get your Mermaid/Merman on and Water Jetpack as quickly as possible!