Fun With a Capital Squirt!

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Water can be used for many wondrous things. Ice statues of the Chuckle Brothers. Erotic waterfalls. Fog. But surely the greatest aquatic development since that big banana thing you ride on at Kavos is a little item that we call the Water Jetpack. Have two words ever sounded finer together? It’s like Bacon and bap. Benny and Bjorn. Chuck and Norris. Water Jetpacking has taken the world of extremeness and celebrity (and celebrity extremeness) by storm, with stars of the magnitude of Leonardo Di Caprio and Vin Diesel strapping on these powerful spurting devices and flying up into air like some form of astounding moist superhero. But I know what you are thinking: ‘Sure, it’s fine for those big Hollywood superstars to swan off to San Tropez or Richard Branson Island and revel in some Water Jetpacking. But what about a lummox like me? With a mortgage and a limp?’ As Robert Benigni said so often ‘Don’t you worry about that no more.’ Now all the glamour and excitement and dampness of Water Jetpacking is available to you in London’s fashionable Docklands district. Just hop on the Docklands Light Railway, head to the Water Jetpacking indoctrination centre, strap on the…

Win a Supercar Experience!

Posted by & filed under Competitions.

  I know exactly what you’re thinking in that beautifully shaped noggin of yours: yes, I want to drive an amazingly fancy Supercar and no, I don’t want to pay a penny for the privilege you neck-cyst possessing weirdo dingy-nut. Firstly, how do you know about my cyst/boat thing? And secondly, of course you don’t and do! And we can help you achieve this through the medium of a gambit, tontine or competition, with our wonderful new friends over at Carrentals.co.uk, the only place to go to compare car rental prices. If you are comparing car rental prices anywhere else, then you are wrong. Just head to this page HERE or blast on over to this FACEBOOK page, which is some sort of new website I’ve just heard all about and enter. And who knows, you could be zipping around the track in the Supercar of your dreams, the dreams where you are driving a Supercar, not the dream where you marry a Supercar, move to Tenby and open a Planet of the Apes themed bed and breakfast establishment. You have until¬†midnight on Sunday the 26th¬†of January 2014 to get your details seen and accepted. If you win you’ll get…

How To Drive in a Stunty Way [Infographic]

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

The smell of burning rubber. The screech of a tyre. The sight of a fully formed man sliding over a bonnet. Everyone loves an auto-vehicular stunt. Nothing gets the heart-pumping and the palms sweaty than a large box of metal swiftly flying over something it was never designed to traverse. But the secrets of stunty driving have long been held to the bosoms of the men and women who conduct them and have never been the shared with mere mortals like me and you. Yes even you, the one with the squint. But through devious means we could never reveal (Cyborgs) we have gleaned just a few of the methods that the stunt community use to make cars jump over things, move in odd directions and produce plumes of lovely smoke. And all these secrets are revealed below in this delightful Infographic for the whole family. Obviously don’t try these things at home. Especially within your home, where a great deal of damage could occur. But do share this knowledge with friends, well-wishers and complete strangers on the internet by stealing and sharing the code that lives below it. And remember – always drive like a pro.

One Day All Wheels Will Be Square [Infographic]

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For far too long we have had to deal with the tyranny of the circle. To me, it has always been the smuggest of shapes. Once a circle, or to a lesser extent it’s evil cousin the wheel, is brought into play, it can only mean one thing: doing something. Curves are an indicator of action and action means I will have to leave my large, padded, reclining chair and move in some way. And as we all know, nothing good can come of that. Thankfully other lazy people like myself have also decided that curves, circles and wheels are pushy good-for-nothings who probably talk smack about you behind your back and need to be eradicated. They have tried to seek out an alternative and have turned to the safe, reliable square for inspiration. Ah, the square. There’s a shape that will never let you down. Just think of all the wonderful things that are square shaped: crisp sandwiches, potato waffles, oven chips. As this erstwhile Infographic explains, the boffins are winning their war on the stupid, old-fashioned round wheel and are bringing in a bright new future with thrilling cubist designs – finally the domination of the circle could…

Wish.co.uk on All Star Family Fortunes!

Posted by & filed under Celebrities, News.

There have been some great noises in British game show history. There was ‘vverrrrriiinnngggg’ buzzer sound on Catchphrase with Roy Walker, the ‘Mer-neep neep neep’ at the end of the round on Mastermind and the ‘bellowing ‘Merrrr-herrrrr’ noise that Bully made on Bullseye whenever he got excited. But surely the most iconic game show sound in history is the Family Fortunes ‘EH-ERRR’! It has now entered our lexicon as an indicator of the incorrect. Well, we at Wish.co.uk are proud to edge ever so slightly closer to that noise and also to the wondrous form of Vernon Kay by providing a few exciting prizes for the contestants on the next series of All Star Family Fortunes. So if you happen to be watching, keep an eye out for our Half Day Sailing and our Slicks and Spokes Raceday at Goodwood. And you can fully expect the studio audience to release a large ‘oooohhhhh’ at the very mention of their names. And do you you remember when we did a similar thing for the excellent Tipping Point? If not, you can remind yourself HERE, but we are also giving them some prizes for the next series too. Clay Pigeon Shooting and…

Evolution of the Playstation [Infographic]

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

Before the invention of the PlayStation, human beings would amuse themselves by hurling sharpened rocks at each other, building and then destroying large wicker men and Atari. It really wasn’t very good. But then, in the mid-1990’s, a gaming event so monumental occurred that Richard Marx considered writing a song about it. Yes, it was the release of the PlayStation 1. Or, as it was known at the time, the PlayStation. Soon the whole wide world was playing along with games such as ‘Fast Car Driving Danger’, ‘Space Guns’ and ‘Chungking Express: The Game‘. And we have never looked back. Well, we all have to look back occasionally, especially when driving. Please, please don’t take that last sentence as a directive to never look back and then sue us when you are rear-ended. What I mean is, we never looked back in a game playing console sort of way. Each evolution of the PlayStation outmaneuvered the previous iteration in both looking nice and sounding great. As this mighty Infographic utterly describing the movements of the PlayStation genre displays, it has ventured from glorious god-like inception to its phoenix like rise from the ashes of PlayStation 3 to be revealed as…

How To Start Your Own Country [Infographic]

Posted by & filed under Infographics.

Just imagine how fun it would be to start your very own sovereign nation. You can design your own flag, possibly with a parakeet or the face of Professor Brian Cox (or both) on it. Perhaps have a Hi-NRG dance track as your national anthem (which could be composed by former D:Ream member Professor Brian Cox). And then have Professor Brian Cox on all your currency, with ten Cox’s to the Cox. Creating your own country might strike you as a baffling ordeal with lots of forms to fill out and armies to assemble, but as our Infographic helpfully sets out, it can be achieved in just a few simple steps. Yes you may need your own island or a large boat, and you don’t want to be too close to Tonga, but otherwise it’s a doddle. If you do follow our instructions and start your own nation, we’d love to hear about it. Just drop us a line, if you’ve had the stamps with Professor Brian Cox’s face printed up yet. And if you’d like to spread the word about all this, then just steal the code from beneath the Infographic and copy and paste it wherever you wish….

11 Insane Sci-Fi Inventions You Never Knew Existed [Infographic]

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Remember your favourite Sci-Fi spectaculars such as ‘The Zygon Paradox’, ‘Commander Bucko and his Space Chums’ and ‘Galaxy Gambol’? If you are anything like me, your favourite part of these remarkable intergalactic epics are the crazy futuristic devices and gadgets that the principal characters utilise. Things for your health, items for transportation and large virtual reality zones where you can pretend to be Sherlock Holmes or Lovejoy. But you may be gob-smacked to learn that many of these items currently exist within our planet: Earth. Below you will find a whole legion of these magical objects, displayed in Infographic form. Their history, influence and dimensions will be utterly explained to you. And what is more we’d be happy for you to swipe this wondrous pictorial for your own World Wide Web ‘inter-page’ and place it wherever you wish, just by copying the code you can see below. And don’t worry, a gaggle of Thought Police in visors and white uniforms won’t break down the door of your pod for doing so.    

You Might Be a Petrolhead If… [Infographic]

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Is someone is currently screaming into your face, “CARS CARS CARS, all you talk about is CARS” before bursting into tears and rushing from the room, as you turn over from Top Gear on Dave to watch Top Gear on BBC Three, while idly watching cars drive by through the window? If this is you, you might be a Petrolhead, that peculiar condition where anything automotive causes your eyes to glaze over, your breath to shorten and your voicebox to release involuntary ‘erg’ sounds. You simply love motors. Their cute little bonnets, there delightful floor mats and their infeasibly attractive roof racks. Every aspect of the internal combustion engine causes you to swoon and gurgle like a young lady at a David Essex pop concert. But if you are still to be convinced about your Petrolhead standing, have a squint at this rather nifty Infographic, which lays out all the potential symptoms of Petrolhead-ism, a bit like those terrifying information posters you get at the doctors office about gout that leave you feeling a little clammy. Use the code below to swipe this beauty and share the facts with potential fellow sufferers. As you Petrolheads always say, “Happy Car Driving!”

The World’s Largest Things [Infographic]

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Everyone knows that bigger is better. Everyone. Except possibly those unfortunate people that can only leave their homes by having an exterior wall removed. I mean think about it, who is the greatest footballer to have ever lived? That’s right, it’s also the biggest footballer: Peter Crouch. And you may have noticed that when we had nice chunky mobile phones, back in the 1980’s, everything was hunky dory. Now we have those tiny, titchy handsets and the economy is completely in the toilet. There must be a connection. In honour of all things gigantic, we have this massively entertaining infographic showcasing various large things and the vast joy that they bring people. And we want to share this joy, so swipe the code below and paste it into every web page you see with a gap. We feel that will be both big and clever.