Is Your Car Killing You?

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We all love our motor vehicles. We love driving them, we love eating in them, we love fly-tipping out of them. Seriously, I would marry my car if I could. Marry her. I would, absolutely. Don’t push me, because I will. I’ll go out this afternoon and marry my Mondeo. Bella. And have the reception at Halfords. And just like several of the other people, and inanimate objects, that I have previously married, our cars are continually trying to kill us. As the delightful Informational-Graphical (Or Infographic) below illustrates, there are a variety of ways in which your vehicle can suddenly become deadly – from fumes to Sat-Navs to appalling posture. And when they come to life due to some ancient Nordic curse. We want to spread the word about all this auto-mayhem, so please feel free to swipe the graphic for your own internet information page, bulletin board or virtual hob-nobbery using the code displayed below. And don’t drive angry. Or badly.    

Innovations To Expect in the Future [Infographic]

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So far the future has been bitterly disappointing. No legions of servile, brainwashed citizens wearing white jumpsuits in some sort of desert setting, all bending under the tyranny of a mysterious despotic leader who appears on over-sized video screens and is probably played by Christopher Plummer. I mean, what’s up with that? Instead we have Coke Zero and a popular television show that is actually set within a High Street chicken shop. Thanks a lot, future. So let’s hope when this particular epoch crumbles into oblivion, there will be a load of exciting stuff barrelling down the pike. As this delightful Infographic illustrates, the future is going to have some boss aspects, including bionic bits, trains and things that we stick in our brains. All of which our insect overlords are sure to be onboard with. And in the spirit of anarchy, you can simply take and display this Infographic elsewhere, by pinching the code below. Ok, get ready, because the segue I’m about to lay on you is going to BLISTERING. Ready? Ready for this segue? Right, here it comes: And if you want to enjoy a taste of future today, why not try out Water Jetpack thing we…

Gamers: Win a Driving Experience…

Posted by & filed under Competitions.

You’ve stung around corners in your Bravado Gauntlet while playing GTA5. You’ve torn up some city streets in your M1A2 Abrams in COD: Ghosts. You’ve probably driven through a barn and emerged covered in hay and chickens while trying to conquer The Dukes of Hazzard: Racing For Home for the PS1. I sincerely hope so. There is an amazing hidden screen where Daisy and Boss Hogg… actually never mind, we’re getting off track. So why am I shouting at you about video games and vehicles and startlingly short hot pants? Because we love you and because we want to send some dedicated gamers out there to get a taste of metal, petrol and guns (paintball) in the real world. All you have to do, using the exciting competition mechanics you see below, is tell us which of the following you would like to do the most. We will randomly select one entry at random once the competition has expired and then that person will be sent off on the vehicular adventure of their dreams (i.e. the one they picked, they can’t spend the night with KITT from Knight Rider or anything). So what’s on offer? Which of these is the…

Take Advantage of Our National Elf Service!

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Turkey Twizzlers. Eggnog flavoured Malibu. Standing outside an all-night garage at 11.59pm on December 24th and pleading with the man inside to sell you that Neil Sedaka compilation CD from behind the counter that he actually brought from home. Christmas has many wonderful traditions. But as you may be aware, one Christmas tradition is about to be mercilessly ripped from before our eyes in a way that is neither festive or particularly jolly. For the first time since the Nativity, the film that typifies Christmas more than any other, Elf, will no longer be shown on terrestrial screens but has been snatched, Grinch style, by Sky, so it can now only be viewed by satellite dish owning Millionaires and those on remand. We’ve taken legal advice, but incredibly it seems there’s no law against it. Not even a European one. But then we remembered that in our Wiltshire bunker constructed for any occurrences connected to the Rapture, Ragnarok or a Zombie Uprising, we do have an ‘Emergency Crimbo Contingency Pack’ nestled in the lower quarters. This consists of some powdered turkey, a bauble,a collapsible Yule Log and 50 copies of Elf on DVD. In the spirit of giving and cross-promotion…

Win a Horsey Murder Book!

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Are you a fan of winning free things, intrigue and tiny little men in colourful costumes? Yes, of course you are! Then do we have a fabulous free giveaway, prize-abundant competition type thrill-vent (a new word I just invented to signify a thrilling event – please don’t steal it, I have trademarked it and I am very litigious. Oh? Don’t believe me? Just try it, go on, I dare you?). We have ten stupendous copies of the new racing thriller After the Fall by champion jockey A.P. McCoy for you readers to win, thanks to the lovely men and women at Orion Books. In this first novel by the racing legend, a young hotshot jockey, packed to the hilt with his own demons and issues tries to claw his way to the top of the racing game while trying to seek revenge on the people responsible for his father’s downfall. Yoinks! Now there’s an intriguing prospect. But before you all dash to Amazon and download it to your Kindle Fire using the one-step checkout process, here’s a chance to get it completely free and with no strong attached at all. Honestly. Nothing. Despite the… No, not even that. I’ve just…

Anatomy of a Scary Film [Infographic]

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BOO! You see, it’s pretty easy to scare someone. Or is it? You may think that horror films comprise of a bloke in a weird mask chasing a teenager with a screwdriver through a haunted Aldi. But it is so much more than that. There’s catering for a start. Lots and lots of catering. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s about it. However, I have now been SCHOOLED with this amazing infographic that breaks down and distillates all the necessary elements required to make your cinema-going experience as uncomfortable as possible. All the bits it takes to make a spooky movie (or spoovie) are investigated good and proper. So turn all the lights on, have your mum ready on speed-dial and have a trawl through the Anatomy of a Scary Film, featuring all your favourite monsters, zombies and Blair Witches. And feel free to scare and share. There is code underneath that allows you to completely STEAL this puppy and stick it on your blog, vlog or bloggie.

Thrilling Helicopter Video Thrill!

Posted by & filed under Media, Video.

Chopper. Whirlybird. Skyplane. No matter what you call a helicopter, there is one thing you can be sure of. They are very thrilling. How thrilling? How about thriller writer Frederick Forsyth performing all of Michael Jackson’s Thriller while on a tightrope THAT’S ON FIRE! That is only half as thrilling as a helicopter. Especially when this particular helicopter is a a-scooping and a-swooping over the buildings, pigeons and congestion charges of the greatest capital city in the whole country. London Town. So great that Wings named an album after it. So large it now has three football clubs within it. So historic it makes you physically sick. Yes, that probably sounds pretty nice. But I can tell you want proof. Actual proof that riding in a helicopter over London is in some way thrilling. Well here it is in all it’s cinematic glory. We just filmed, edited and rendered this amazing video showing what it’s like to head out on one of our incredible London helicopter experiences. Take a cockpit eye’s view of the incredible sights and thoroughly iconic views you encounter while you are zapping about up there. You can see the video below and if it’s whetted your…

Trick or Treat… and Win With Dr Pepper!

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Want to win something either hideously diabolical, or else exquisitely lovely-fied? Those are the choices with our fiendish new prize draw which we have devised with out good and bubbly friends over at Dr Pepper. It’s your typical Trick or Treat challenge, so synonymous with this time of year. For instance, in our first instalment, which will get drawn on October 28th, all you have to do is answer a simple question and enter the draw. Then, if selected, you could either get a delightful Deluxe Afternoon Tea at 17 locations all over the place. Or else you could be driven deep beneath the tunnels under Waterloo Station and face the horrors of our Zombie Blitz 1940, where dead World War II German soldiers will be all up in your grill. You see, one is a trick and one is a treat. But what might be a treat or some will be a trick for others and you have NO POWER over the decision. There will be more draws in upcoming weeks, to thoroughly celebrate this season of right spookiness. Head over to the Dr Pepper Facebook page RIGHT HERE to find out more and enter the draw. And to…

Our Zombies in ITV’s Whitechapel…?

Posted by & filed under Celebrities, News.

We know what you are thinking. “Big deal, your zombies were hanging out in a slightly fashionable part of East London, possibly visiting the renowned Whitechapel Gallery or picking up some niche cheese at Spitalfields Market”. No, you big lemon, not IN Whitechapel but ON Whitechapel – the hit ITV crime drama starring Chalky from Quadrophenia and Herr Lipp! In the series, people tend to get flayed and our erstwhile detectives have to find out who has done the flaying. And just when they think they’ve nabbed the flayer, somebody else gets flayed. So where do our zombies encroach? We’d better not say for fear of people shouting SPOILER ALERT at us in that way that people do these days. But you can see them, including our hero and confidante Rob Hall, on Wednesday 2nd October on ITV at 9pm – or after that via ITVplayer HERE. If all these zombie shenanigans have got you hot and bothered, take a peek at our plethora of zombie bashing adventures RIGHT HERE

Spare a Thought For the Millionaires [Infographic]

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As the various millionaires who govern us have been pointing out for a while now, financially things are quite tough, especially for millionaires. Lugging your various items of jewellery down to ‘Gold 4 Cash 4 U‘ on the High Street every few days, just to get a bit of Foie Gras money, it’s a total nightmare. We decided to take a stand with our affluent, large-pocketed, fairly monocled brothers and sisters and examine just how far a cool million quid could have got you in years gone by compared to today. Once you’ve have a thoroughly large squizz at some of the factoids on offer, I’m sure you’ll be popping all your kebab money into an envelope and pressing it into the hand of a passing Earl of Marquis with due haste. As Kermit said, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green‘ – but as we will discover, it’s also not easy having green. And in the true spirit of capitalism and enterprise, feel free to steal this beloved Infographic using the embed code below. SPREAD THE WORD! SAVE THE TOFFS AND TRUMPS!