Nice Day for a (Zombie) Wedding

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Til death do you part! In what we consider the most romantic gesture since Romeo and Juliet (the Leo/Danes version, obvs), professional love puppy Richard Walker plighted his troth to the future Mrs Walker during the Zombie Shopping Mall experience. Rumour has it that the plucky couple got separated from their outfit and were under attack from a phalanx of the vile members of the walking dead. With things looking bad and a painful, munching death almost inevitable Richard blurted out ‘If we survive this, will you marry me?’ His pre-Bride agreed and suggested they work out the seating arrangements later and run away from the face-chewers as quickly as possible. Ahhh! Or should we say: aaarrrggggggghhhhhhh! Above you can see the happy couple once they had survived the thrilling adventure and made the ring exchange completely official proving, as if we didn’t know, that love conquers anything. Even a monster attack. Even the zombies look happy and our zombies are never happy. Congrats to the both of them and if you have a zombie themed wedding, make sure we get an invite.

“Top Gun”: How To Join The Best of the Best

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Maverick and Cougar. Flying a Tomkat with your wingman. ‘Nobody puts baby in the corner’. Yes, you love Top Gun. The jet fighters, the hair, the teeth, the tight, tight buns. But that wondrous film was just a work of fiction, right? Like Bagpuss or all those Michael Moore things? There’s no way little old you could strap yourself into a high-performance aircraft and fly erratically, irresponsibly and with masculine flair? You big silly. You too can easily take to the skies with a Harold Faltermeyer soundtrack blasting painfully in your ears. Just sign yourself up to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program. The real life Top Gun programme designed to turn into a real Tom Cruise without… [REDACTED BY OUR LAWYERS]. #1. Choose a Call Sign Obviously, before you do anything, ANYTHING, you need a snappy nickname that perfectly expresses your action personality. Some of the good ones have been taken, like Iceman, Maverick, Goose and Cougar. But there are options. If you are not as fast as some, how about Sloth? Or if you are overtly hairy, you could be Chimp. If you are French, then Frenchie could work for you. Or Croissant Charlie. Or…

Zombie Boot Camp: The Video

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You’ve HEARD about Zombie Boot Camp. You’ve READ about Zombie Boot Camp. You’ve DREAMED of Zombie Boot Camp until the dreams made the inside of your mind raw and caked with gore. Now there are moving images to accompany the fervent fantasies you’ve been brewing. Check out this amazing video by Moysifer all about his zombie experience day and the brave undead battling he embarked on…. And read all about his thoughts RIGHT HERE. Got absolutely no idea what we are going on about and the confusion is leaving you angry and baffled? We don’t blame you! Then read all about our various zombie endeavours below: Zombie Boot Camp Mall: HERE, HERE Zombie Shopping Mall: HERE, HERE Zombie Manor House: HERE, HERE Surely you too could be fighting, rumbling and swearing at the living dead, just like Moysifer and his merry pals. And stay tuned for more exciting zombie news that will be hitting very soon!

“Ghoul of Duty”: The Sun Fight Zombies in Reading…

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…on Zombie Shopping Mall, which makes an appearance today in The Sun, the zombie paper-of-record. Check out their Zombie Shopping Mall review to see how journo Lee Price got along. Further Reading Check out our other zombie experiences

A Once in a Lifetime Downing Street Deal…

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We’re offering big, big savings with this once-in-a-lifetime Downing Street deal!  Shuffling into the voting booth at some inner-city Primary School causing flashbacks to the time you wet yourself in while dressed as a shepherd is an utterly depressing experience. Surely there has got to be a better way? There is! Cash! Sidestep all that ridiculous talking, petitioning and offering a lucid argument nonsense that completely clogs up our democratic process. Cut out the red tape through the use of white hot dosh. In this very exclusive, limited time offer, for a small *cough* “donation” of – let’s say £250,000 – you can actually get inside 10 Downing Street, and next door to Number 11 for slightly less. ‘That’s too much’ I hear you cry into your Quavers. Don’t worry, packages for all cheapskates are available: £10,000 – The ‘Regional Mayor’ A Polaroid of you and your pleading face will be slipped under the door of a random government official including a four word message stating your case. £50,000 – The ‘Middling CEO’ A junior minister will sit next to you at the event of your choice (rugby match, pantomime, peep show) for a period of eight minutes, nodding sagely…

Introducing “Zombie Shopping Mall”…

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Update: Zombie Shopping Mall is now sold out. Sorry! 🙁 Once it was the job of the nation’s elderly to shuffle around shopping centres, smelling a bit odd and having bits drop off them. But there’s a new menace that’s littering the mall. Wombles. Sorry, misread that… we mean ZOMBIES! In our mind-blowingly scary new experience – Zombie Shopping Mall – you’ll be dropped into a spooky abandoned shopping centre in Reading. There you will go from floor to floor, battling zombies who have infiltrated the site (don’t mix the zombies up with the lifeless, indolent types who work in nearby Top Shop.). What’ll I Be Up Against? You and your team will receive full training from the assigned police unit, advising you the best way to dispatch your scabby enemies. Then you’ll tackle these groaning deadbeats face to face, in a movie-like experience, unfolding in real time, where your decision affect the outcome. After this, you and your comrades face these shuffling beasts alone, in what is known as a ‘run and gun’ experience. You’ll need nerves of steel, a will of iron and brains of titanium to successfully fend off this legion of gentlemen and ladies who used to be…

Zombie Shopping Mall in the New York Post

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  Yay, our wondersome Zombies have conquered the Big Apple! As you can see from the cutting above the estimable New York Post (which we are going to assume is the American equivalent of The Times) got quite excited by the thought of our Zombie Shopping Mall. Well, those Yankee Doodles do love malls and malt shops and drive-ins – if the movies are to be believed.  

Zombie Boot Camp on Fox News

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American broadcaster Fox News usually dedicates their resources into things such as questioning the human heritage of their President and liking Sarah Palin. But it turns out that they also love our Zombie Boot Camp. Despite the fact that they felt it ‘wasn’t for them’, ‘gross’ and ‘I don’t want any part of it’ we could tell that behind the fear they were dying to head to Droitwich and embark on some zombie bashing. Take that liberal media! And if that has given you the urge to bash some zombies, get some more info HERE.

Zombie Boot Camp in the Guardian Guide

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  Love for our Zombies turns up all over the place (quite right too, as they are ace). Here’s the handsome and exceptional Ciarán Norris from Stillorgan, Co Dublin, extolling the virtues of our very own Zombie Boot Camp on the pages of the Guardian Guide. He points out its use should there be a Zombie apocalypse and manages to get a sly political dig in there (well it is the Guardian). Read the whole thing RIGHT HERE And if you fancy a bit of that yourself, then we urge you to head OVER HERE.

How to Break Even in First Class [Infographic]

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If God wanted us to fly he would have given us wings – or *cough* very reasonably priced flying experiences, right. But if God wanted us to fly decently, he would have given us all wings and a free upgrade to first class. Except then we would all be in first class, so they’d have to invent something even more special for the rich people. Maybe titled Omega Class. Then we would all want God to get us in there. Unless you didn’t believe in God at all in which case you shouldn’t be flying anyway. You should be burning in hell. But surely first class travel is just for rich idiots and chinless yahoos with gross family inheritances or perhaps a Faberge egg farm? We’re the ones with the smarts because although we’re back in steerage with a vomiting nun as a seat companion and a pay turnstile on the toilet, we saved skipfulls of cash. Or maybe things just ain’t so straightforward, as this non-moving film or ‘picture’ demonstrates…