How To Start Your Own Death Cult

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What’s the difference between a religion and a cult? Not much. The study of cults is a modern phenomena – dating back to the 1930s. They have many of the same traits as mainstream religions, but with beliefs and practices that established society deems odd or eccentric. When you think about it though, there are a lot of things people do in the name of mainstream religion that look decidedly odd or eccentric… One thing’s for certain. Cult formation is skyrocketing. As old time religion loses its lustre for many, New Religious Movements or NRMs are flooding in to fill the hole. Best of all? You could be the person at the top. Anyone can start their own cult. All it takes is a bit of charisma, a creation myth and some commandments to live by. A charismatic figurehead Getting people to follow you in the first place is a confidence trick. So, every cult needs a leader who inspires that confidence – a leader who will embody and represent your theosophy. In 1968, The Beatles dropped their Rickenbackers halfway through “Magical Mystery Tour” and went off to India. The chap who turned their heads? The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, leader of the Transcendental Meditation…

The World’s 10 Weirdest Cinemas

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Going to the pictures used to mean something, you know what I mean? You would get dressed up. There would be usherettes to see you to your seat and give you free cigarettes. And you’d get seven films, a newsreel, a cartoon and a nudist documentary, all for a halfpenny. Now a child with spots pokes you with a stick as you sit in a pile of rancid Maltesers and sadness. But there are still some unique film going experiences out there. Movie palaces that proudly bear the moniker ‘weird’. Take a quick tour around the globe’s strangest and most impressive film venues. Kinema in the Woods: Lincs, UK Exuding all the best of English eccentricity, like a man with a large moustache and a pith helmet throwing cribbage pieces at a lion, this former farm building is one of the oldest cinemas in the country opening in 1922. Nestled in the village of Woodhall Spa, from the outside it resembles an enormous ski lodge gone slightly wrong, while the interior, featuring a classic crimped curtain and bountiful murals, is awesome. And there’s an organ! www.kinemainthewoods.co.uk Cinema d’Ete: Monaco You can rely on those swanky denizens of Monaco to produce…

How To Be Better at Conversation & Small Talk

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I’ve noticed recently that the number of occasions when people flee from my company as I begin talking to them is roughly down to single figures for each day, so I now consider myself to have the gift of the gab. Yes, I am one of those tremendously fortuitous individuals who can simply open up a conversation with practically anyone and they will stand there, rigid with admiration, unable to speak due to my fascinating insights and gesturing frantically to passers-by, so they can join them and also enjoy my words. My abilities and techniques have been slowly assembled over many years and I am finally ready to share them with you lucky, lucky people. So sit back, pour yourself a Lucozade and prepare to learn my trade secrets of polite, enthralling conversation. THE OPENING This is always the most difficult gambit when initiating a conversation with someone. Do you try the traditional ‘hello’? The more relaxed ‘hi’? Or something more unorthodox like ‘ZAPPY PAPPY ZAPPY PAPPY’ screamed at quite a high register. Well, even novices like yourselves will realise that it should be this last one. You only have a few microseconds to make an impression and allow this person to understand that you…

How To Get A Road Named After You

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  There’s no better way to go down in history than to have a street named after you. Just think of the thoroughfares you walk down every day, named after historical figures, local dignitaries and the hoi polloi. Could that be your street? In decades and centuries to come, could the great unwashed masses of your town be strolling down boulevards and into cul-de-sacs named after you? The short answer is yes. Yes they could. But it won’t be easy. We investigate the laws and loopholes that will help you get a street with your name on it. Who decides what streets are called? Street naming regulations are enshrined in UK law. Your local borough or district council is responsible for assigning street names (and house numbers). The legislation can be found in the Towns Improvement Clauses Act 1847 and the Public Health Act of 1925. Naming streets is a big responsibility for council planning departments. They have to consider the character of the area, the sensitivities of residents and the needs of local organisations. The council has to work with postal and emergency services to make sure the names are clear and properties easy to find. All newly named and…

How to Crash Weddings

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Aren’t wedding parties the best thing ever? There’s lots of food and lots of drink. There’s music, dancing and dressing up. Everyone’s in a good mood and all the single people feel, you know, a bit frisky. Trouble is, how often do your friends and family get hitched? Not enough is what we say! There were 234, 464 weddings last year in the UK alone. That’s nearly a quarter of a million parties you could have been to in 2013 – that you missed. What’s that you say? You weren’t invited? Don’t let a little thing like that put you off. Who needs to wait for an invitation to a wedding when, with a little bit ingenuity, you can go to any wedding you like. Without giving too much away, we have form in this department. We have a very particular set of skills. Skills that enable us to crash any wedding, any time. And now you can too. Folks, put a carnation in your buttonhole. Here’s everything you need to know to successfully crash a wedding party. The best weddings to crash You can’t just crash any old wedding reception. Some are far too small and you’ll soon be noticed….

How To Shoot a Semi-Automatic Gun

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OK, first things first hotshot. What is a semi-automatic weapon? Put simply it’s a gun that ejects a spent shell then loads a bullet into the chamber after the first one is fired (if there’s one available). Unlike those dang muskets that I’ve been favouring lately, which are a pain to load, but do look really nice. They can come in pistol, shotgun or rifle varieties (semi-automatics, not muskets). They are different to automatic firearms, as they are the ones that go NER-NER-NER-NER-NER-NER-NER in a very satisfying way. So, once you are in the vicinity of a semi-automatic gun, how do you fire it without looking like a doofus or making blood come out of yourself? BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING I know how badly you want to shoot that lovely gun that you have in front of you, but first remember a few important safety rules. Never point a gun, any gun, at anyone ever. Even if you know it isn’t loaded. In fact, always assume that any gun you ever handle is loaded and act accordingly. Be concious of where the bangy end of the gun is pointing at all times. Never have your finger on the trigger, until…

Get Your Wish.co.uk Calendar

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Dates. The endless, vile. pointless tyranny of dates. I mean, who really knows what the actual date is? Back in the old days, do you think they were keeping such a tight grip on that sort of thing? ‘What year is it? 1126?’ ‘I thought it was 1304’ ‘Oh really? I’ll go with that then. I’ve got the plague anyway, so who cares?’ That was a typical conversation undertaken by illuminated calendar makers back in the Dark Ages. Depressing isn’t it? Which is why, here at Wish.co.uk, we can never understand why we all have to wait until the end of the year to get our hands on a bumptious and sublime new calendar, with that refreshing new calendar smell. UMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I can’t get enough of it. I mean, what’s the point? If those bumpkins from earlier weren’t keeping a handle of these this stuff then it could easily be 2017, 2155 or 2499 in reality. Yes, we could be in the future, which may explain why I have all this foil attached to me. So why not DOWNLOAD and DISPLAY this exciting new date-gorged enterprise from us. It’s a NEW calendar you can start using right now and which…

How to Get Free Hotel Upgrades In Las Vegas

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I used to have a pretty rock sold assumption that anyone with an English accent could get away with just about anything in America, particularly when it came to getting a free upgrade in Las Vegas. So smitten were they with my accent you would see them visibly melting just hearing me utter the words “hello, how are you.”  I have to admit though, there were times I adapted my own particular persona depending on the circumstances I was faced with. I’ve been Lord Mossack of London Town,  if I needed posh private school, or just plain Handy Andy if Mary Poppins east-end cockney was called for. Either way it worked a treat, like in the movie Jerry Maguire, I often had them at hello.. But these days things are very different thanks to Downton Abbey. Now my American friends can, at a flick of a switch, have their fill of an English accent whenever they so desire it, so getting that free upgrade was still possible of course, it simply meant I had to adapt to a different type of strategy. So, if we want to succeed in bagging a free upgrade in Vegas we need to get a…

“Three Card Monte”: Can You Beat The Scams?

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“A strange game. The only winning move is not to play” It’s true of thermonuclear war, noughts and crosses and, it turns out, Three Card Monte. Otherwise known as Find the Lady or The Three Card Trick, the goal of Three Card Monte is simple. I have three cards, a queen, and two other cards of any type in a row in front of me. I’ve shown you which card is the queen, and now I’m going to put them face down, shuffle them around a bit, and then if you can guess which card is the queen, I’ll give you money. Sounds straight forward enough and you’ll find this game being played on street corners the world over. So why is it so hard to win? Well, the primary reason why it’s such a hard game to beat is disappointingly prosaic. Magician Ali Cook explains, “It is possible, but if you did win, the minute you turned the corner someone would just mug you anyway. The people who do the Three Card Monte are not nice people, and it’s not just one guy at a table. There are normally around seven people in a crew. But even without the…

How To Kill Time In Any Airport In The World

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Holidays would be great if you didn’t have to travel. Where are all the teleportation devices we were promised in lying television shows such as Star Trek and Tomorrow’s World? And Bullseye didn’t help either. Perhaps the most annoying vacation aspect is the airport. Once you’ve checked in, drank heavily and bought a cruller, what’s there left to do? Here are some seriously pointless, utterly ridiculous, potentially life threatening airport time-wasting activities to sort of enjoy… #1 – Announcement Russian Roulette Not for the faint hearted. If you’re in a group of like-minded idiots, wait by the gate but don’t board your plane until the last available second. Then sit there in delirious anticipation as the frustrated airline worker continually calls your name over the loud speaker system. Who will be the last to crack and make themselves known to the counter staff? Will you miss your flight to Bruges completely? Yes. Probably. #2 – Baggage Steeplechase Fun to play with friends, or slightly disturbing to those around you if alone. At the baggage carousel, bet on whose luggage will be first out of the shoot. Dirty tricks such as manoeuvring your suitcase, ‘accidentally’ blocking others and bribing small children…