How to Go Bankrupt Like A Rockstar

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Hurrah! You’ve had a lottery win, Great Aunt Sylvia has popped her clogs or your novelty hit ‘Oopy Doopy Fa La La (The Poo Poo Song)‘ is number one in 12 countries. Suddenly you’ve got tons and tons of cash that you’re determined to squander in the most ridiculous way possible. But how to burn through those piles of cash in a way fit for a reality show or hit film? And where to go for advice? Celebs? Of course! If anyone knows how to flush tons of cash down the proverbial bog it’s our stars of stage and screen. Follow these tips and you’ll soon be back working nights at Aldi… Vehicles How many yachts could one man need? Four? Seven? If you want to live a completely reckless celebrity lifestyle, the answer is… there is never enough. And while you can quickly sail away from the paps, you can’t escape form the fact that they cost a boatload of money. While I don’t thing Kerry Katona had a big boat, it is rumoured she had £1.8 million worth of vehicles, before she went bust in 2008. While footballing legend George Best claimed,  “They say I wasted my money….

Bill Murray: What Would The Murray Do?

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Want a life that’s more interesting? Follow the way of Bill Murray, a man whose real life is every bit as mental as the manic roles he’s played. Bill Murray, actor, philanthropist and legend, could teach us all a thing or two about living life to the max. In Groundhog Day he played Phil Connors,  a man who repeats the same day over and over. He learns to embrace every experience that’s thrown at him, loving life and making new friends everywhere he goes. He gatecrashes parties and helps those less fortunate. Along the way he becomes a virtuoso pianist, sculptor and poet. And that’s exactly how the real Bill Murray rolls. His attitude to living is a veritable blueprint for anyone with a yen for adventure. When the day seems dull and your choices are slim, there’s only ever one question you need to ask. What would Bill Murray do? Here are six lessons we’ve learned from the former Ghostbuster, the star of Kingpin and The Royal Tenenbaums.  They’ll help you live a better, more exciting life. 1. Party harder Bill Murray has party radar like you wouldn’t believe.  From Austin, Texas to St Andrews in Scotland, gobsmacked muggles…

Win Fantastic Wish.co.uk Prizes With Fanta!

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  Do you want to win amazing, once in a lifetime prizes? Oh you don’t. I wasn’t really expecting that. Most people… Oh! You were joking! You are quite a card aren’t you? No wonder your life partner is so attractive, with a sense of humour like that. Of course you want to win these magnificent, life-lubricating prizes, especially when you hear that Fanta is involved. That’s right, Fanta, your favourite ever beverage. Slow down and stop clawing at my shins and ankles! I’m about to tell you how you can enter. Simply buy a special promotional pack of Orange, Orange Zero or Fruit Twist Fanta, find the unique code and then enter the code on the Fanta website over at www.fanta.co.uk/fanta100 Then two whole winners will be drawn in a completely random way (I have seen the photos and, boy oh boy, is it ever random) every day from now until July 7th 2014. And at what time of the day will the drawings take place? The only time that makes sense: afternoons. Or perhaps mornings. Actually I don’t know, they won’t let me into that part of the building. And the things you can win, you ask? Things so wondrous…

The Amazing Wish.co.uk 2014/15 Calendar

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A calendar? In March?! Let us explain; before the world was full of microwavable sushi and Michael McIntyre, we used to have a year that started in March and ended in March. Not the same March, the next March. Then the Romans, or somebody, came along and mucked it all up and suddenly we needed a special rhyme to keep the lengths of the months straight. Disgusting. But because we like old fashioned things and because we didn’t manage to get our proper calendar to the printers in time at the end of last year, we’ve put together this completely unique March to March Olde Englysh Calendrific Device, brimming with special dates and notable occurrences like Insurance Awareness Day (June 28th), Golf Month (August) and Danny DeVito’s birthday (look it up). Just click on this outstanding link: DOWNLOAD THE CALENDAR NOW And there you will see the whole thing in glorious PDF-O-Vision. Just print it off right there and then or right click and download it to peruse at a later date. No longer will you have to rely on clumsy abacuses or sun dials to work out that ‘time of the month’, now it’s right there spread out in…

Wish.co.uk Goodies on ITV’s Tipping Point

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It’s the only game show on television that utilises the power of those seaside, two pence, shuffle based amusement games that have no official name. No really, I’m serious, what are those things called? Coiny Slot Drops? Yes, it’s Tipping Point. And despite the infuriating incomprehension of having no name for the machine at the heart of the show, we still love it and particularly it’s host Ben Shephard. BEN! BEN! I’m assuming you Google your own name constantly so will probably read this. BEN! BEN! Did you get the socks I knitted? One with T embroidered on it and the other with P? I don’t know if I made it clear in my six page letter, but that stands for Tipping Point! You see, it’s clever, like you. I was at the Frankie & Bennys on the night I mentioned in the letter, but I didn’t see you. You were probably busy being hunky and ace. Anyway, my Shepard based fantasises edge ever close to reality as Wish.co.uk provides one of the prizes for an upcoming show. This Wednesday, March 19th at 4pm, drop everything and glue yourself to the television, as I will be doing and you’ll see our…

The Weirdest Things That Got Motorised (& Why)

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The British have been putting motors into inappropriate things since the dawn of time. Way back in caveman days, according to a documentary I was watching the other day, Neanderthals were using their own feet to propel themselves in primitive vehicular forms and using animals such as pelicans as buckets and rubbish bins. Come to think of it, I might have been watching The Flintstones. And even that seems unlikely as my wife took the television with her when she left 4 years ago. I’M SO LONELY. And that wonderful tradition of yamming an engine into somewhere that it has no natural right to go continues to this day. People the world over have gathered the British mantle and are now motorising all manner of inanimate objects, just for the glory of appearing in an Infographic. And today, I make all their dreams blossom into reality as the Infographic below outlines their exploits and achievements in a way that ‘Infographic Monthly Magazine’ (you get a pixel free with every edition until, after 96 weeks, you have your own Infographic) described as ‘bold’ and ‘cheeky’. Our fingers are crossed for the upcoming ‘Infographies’ the awards ceremony for the Infographic industry held…

What Does Your Car Say About You?

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The question I’m asked most in my life is ‘What is wrong with you?’ the second question most asked is ‘No, really, what is wrong with you?’ I’m asked it all the time by family members, strangers, passing motorists and, for some reason, traffic wardens. Maybe it’s my headgear, maybe it’s the ‘new walk’ I’m trying out. But whatever the reason, the general public appear to be perpetually compelled by me and my odours. But it seems you people, generally known as ‘normal, sane people’, are more of an open book. ‘But how,’ you splutter while spraying muesli all over the barista. It’s your car. It reveals more about you than your name, height or a thorough internal medical examination. All is revealed in this informative and completely Meerkat free Infographic that is reproduced below. Within it, all the vehicular nuggets that indicate exactly the sort of person you are and what has gone wrong are openly displayed and celebrated. If, after reading, you do make a breakthrough and find it necessary to share your emotions with the larger world, you can simply take the code that lives under the Infographic like a common bridge troll and slap it up,…

How To Build a Monster Truck

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Wait, so great big Monster Trucks aren’t the result of a juggernaut getting it on with a camper van? No! Apparently neither mechanics nor nature work in that way. Boy is my face red. Instead Monster Trucks are painstakingly constructed by human beings. Human beings with passion, big tyres and too much time on their hands. And probably an extensive collection of novelty belt buckles. Don’t ask me why, I just picture them that way. ‘But yes,’ you warble, ‘you’ve certainly given me the vague ballpark nutshell of all that Monster Truck hoo-hah, but I’m on a particular brand of medication that forces me to insist on obtaining VERY SPECIFIC DETAILS about EVERYTHING and then add them to my dossier, which is called ‘The Dossier’ and buried in a country park not far from here’. Behold! The Infographic below (if you’re not seeing the Infographic below, what’s wrong with you? Why have you got to cause trouble, eh?) fills you in on every aspect of Monster Truck construction from lug nuts to wing nuts. And many nuts in between. Upset your friends and baffle you enemies with your astounding range of new truck knowledge. And then spread the word like…

The World’s Very Worst Cars According To Wish.co.uk

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With cars, like footballers, certainly the expensive ones catch the eye, but the truly terrible ones are far more entertaining. Yes, watching a gazelle-like centre-forward hurtling down the flank, dummying four defenders and then slotting home a delicate chip is very nice, but watching a donkey of a defender taking a huge swipe at the ball, missing by several feet and somehow kicking himself in the knackers is going to get more hits on You Tube. And so it is we turn to vehicular donkeys. Those cars that, rather than being produced with precision and flair, are more thrown together by glueing some metal onto a shopping trolley and waving an engine in its general direction while being sick. Clunkers, bangers and lemons that are all beautifully represented in our Infographic below. Think of it as a sort of virtual wallchart that you can ‘hang’ (post) onto your ‘wall’ (internet). And if you want to tell the world about low quality automobiles, like a cut-rate Jeremy Clarkson with a speech impediment and a squint, just swipe the code from beneath the image and paste anywhere you like! Even a haberdashers! And if you like drivey car type things, we’ve got…

Vernon Kay Revs Our Engines On All Star Family Fortunes

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  We’ve been at it again! No, that thing. We have apologised for that profusely and are attempting to move on with our lives. No, we’ve been at the All Star Family Fortune gift giveaway thing again! This time, as you can see from Vernon’s cheeky little grin behind that convincing steering wheel, we supplied one of our fabulous driving experiences to one lucky competitor. In the hotly contested Coronation Street special, which saw the families of Andy Whyment compete against Debbie Rush, lucky duck David Rush said the word ‘pen’ and then all hell broke loose. Not only had he picked the top answer for ‘What non-spoon items do people stir their tea with’ but also swiped a spot prize. Dave blagged on of our amazing Spokes and Slicks driving days at Goodwood, featuring a whole slew of classic vehicles, just waiting for his attractive, nubile frame to slip into them. To that man we declare Kudos! And hope good fortune rains down on all the Rush’s and their kin. See more crazy Vernon action on All Star Family Fortunes, Sunday tea-time on ITV 1. Will we give away more amazing stuff? Tune in to find out. Or watch the…